Thoughts of a minibus traveller

12 people dead in a minibus accident . No one too sure yet what happened. But the media and the public will do their nine day shock.. there is a recent spate of deaths which we are reeling from - the girl whose parents are charged for murdering her; the baby in the car, the other child in the hospital, the women in child birth, the women being killed by men who supposed to love them, people being shot. Lusignan was 11, Bartica was 12. The President and Cabinet ran down to those areas. However, with this minibus one.. Minister of Health only so far. When the weapon is not an AK47, the society is not as outraged or shocked. There are reports of trauma though in this case - one woman's blood pressure raise at the horror, another man vomited apparently at what he saw, the families are in shock, one reporter apparently told her boyfriend that she is scared to go out on the road now. But no counselling here.. Guyana is like that.. we go on, Death happens in thousands of ways. There wi...

There are some books, you have to be careful where you read them because you will burst out into giggles or find yourself holding back laughter and have people think you mad. Kevin Baldeosingh's Autobiography is a Trini satire, unlike any other kind of Caribbean satire and it is one of those books where the author carries you on this unpredictable journey of absurdity... you never know where you end up .. and then all of it is , as in all satire.. makes you think.. but the man is right. Kevin Baldeosingh in this book , as we say in our local parlance, is an ass of the finest calibre. The man in one book, manages to take on race, politics, sex, marriage, class, love, religion, literature and Oprah Winfrey. (Yeah, okay I could say I just did that too in this lil paragraph).. Apart from the annoying quotations at the top of each chapter (this is where Ruel Johnson get his idea from? or maybe is a joke which I did not get)  , the book is highly recommended - I wish I had read this ...

My mouth was feeling woolly and my body feeling a lil beat up. The blasted Tastee barbecue chips I ate, the hard crunchy spicy thing at 1030 pm like it rest on my stomach.. a doctor had told me that this craving for hard crunchy chips is a sign of dealing with some kind of anger.. I had a whole pack of plaintain chips and two of the Tastee things.. and then went and sleep. The whole week I been fighting off the heavy feelings, trying hard not to go down the sweet way. The humidity is high. I do the suryanamaskar and my mind is racing with all the things.. i struggle to maintain focus on the postures and movements to keep my mind off the things which hold me back. One thing at a time I say. There is a cyclone due and it sounds ominous. The moon was full this week. Work starts.. one major task takes all morning to do, but at least it is done. The afternoon, I start the next one.. it is taking a bit long. In the middle of the afternoon, the phone rings. The voice asks if I am busy.....

Two women asked me today, separately, whether I was sure that I would do the work which I said I could do. It shocked me.. I had laid out how I think the work could be done.. and both women are referees on my CV. Neither woman had ever asked before, I used to be able to lay out my plans and get responses. The fact that they asked.. well it hit home that some more things have to give so that I could ensure that I get these projects done properly and with a good quality. None of us like to give up on things which we set out to do.. the first time I did that was when I dropped one 'A' Level .. after doing well in fifth form, it was expected that I should do four A levels with the best of the best.. and dropping the one had a range of responses of dismay and disappointment, to some who were glad because I would not be 'beating' them again (school competition is wonderful). Later on, I would drop out of doing some post-graduate work, and some around me muttered about me n...

Comrades, There continues to be rumblings by sour opposition people about the fate of some old buildings in Georgetown. Like City Hall. Comrades, most of you go past City Hall without bothering about it. These colonial buildings are a legacy of our ugly past. We are a peaceful country. Rather than do as the Taliban did and bomb the Bamiyan Buddha, we instead are refusing to waste our money on maintaining colonial legacies. Forget all this nonsense about how tourists are coming to Guyana to see old buildings. They can see the touched up pictures and videos of them on the Internet. Our tourism strategy is to have casinos and sex tourism.. in fact, our Ministry of Tourism is dedicated to ensuring that our beauty pageants are of a high enough standard to attract tourists to Guyana. We are not completely philistine. We will ensure that people who visit the new Marriot will be given free tours of the Red House.. and that people who lose at the Casino will not leave disappointed - we wi...

Today's Chronicle has something in one of the help columns in which the advice is to realise that in the breakup of relationships and marriages, one of the things which bring grief is the loss of the dream of what might have been.. that it will never be. Twenty years ago, I was happy to be in my first year at University, glad to be away from home for a bit and prepared for the great big adventure. The periods of depression had not weighed in as yet, since I thought I could do anything. In my head, I had some sense of morals and values.. to follow the decent middle class coolie boy route of study, marriage, house, car, children, big belly .. but I knew that I was not going to do as my father and uncles did and so many men of their generation, have outside woman/women as part of that prosperity So you get older and wiser and realise that these things are not for you.. and gradually the things which you had planned and dreamt about.. did not happen and other things took their place ...

The woman said she did not want to eat. She also said that she did not want to drink water. I said, the place hot, aren't you scared of dehydration? She said that she cannot eat or drink. I am rude and kept asking. She said that one of the side effects of the chemo is nausea and dizziness.  She also has to eat in private in case she feels she has to vomit. She then said, she was not sure of people knowing that she is a cancer survivor. She was a private person and she could not stand pity, it is one of the things she said that family members have to understand. The dizziness has made her stop driving. She spoke to the rest of the group after and we learnt how many people had to nurse others through Cancer. The news came today that PM Thompson of Barbados died after his own battle with pancreatic cancer. Cancer has no age. Randy Pausch's Last Lecture also brought this form of cancer to public awareness. This October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and I am thinking of a yo...

The minbus driver ask me how I do, an' I tell he, ah tryin' . The man seh is why yall stay suh? Why yall dont like admit dat ting nice an' yall enjoyin' life? I laff - I tell he true, I just come out de barber shop so I mussee look handsome an clean like if everyting' good wid me.We talk about how fish and chips now mekin' money, and how it used to be chicken.. and we talk about food and who buyin' food and who cookin' food and how shop food dont have all de nutrients.. Eating healthy came up again with the Lower Sixth students - some said they dont like eating healthily. So I jumped in.. and talked about how the good food now is an investment in the future.. even as low as I was feeling about my present. Something stuck in my head today..from Kalidasa apparently Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life  I thought of this thing abou...

From the Radha Krishna Mandir Photos on their Facebook Group These two days the Hindu community is contemplating the mystical appearance of sindoor/kumkum on the Durga and Laxmi Murti at Radha Krishna Mandir . Devotees are flocking to the temple. People like me however, are skeptical and question the reason behind the appearance. Faith moves mountains a girl said on Facebook and she shared with me a fear that I have, what if it is found out that there is some other reason for the appearance of the kumkum? What if, it is some resin, etc which had some delayed chemical reaction? Would we believe less that God exists ? And that there was never a manifestation in the form of Mother Durga at all? The Hindu religion allows scepticism. A few weeks ago I contemplated Lord Krishna and the diversity of beliefs. Hundreds of people have marvelled at the manifestation at Radha Krishna, but in my own questioning, I have to contemplate whether I am any better or worse than those who believe...

One girl asked why I was not married and why I did not have children, and another girl wanted to know if I had a girlfriend. The times are different and one of the challenges we face is this post-colonial dilemma of how we educate children. It has been a pleasure working on the Bishops' High School Lower Sixth Programme .. and while I might be perturbed at the legacy of the regimentation, and rules, today as one of the students pointed out.. the school is clean compared to others and there are a variety of activities to participate in. (So big question, do we need to be whipped and enslaved so that we could keep our environment clean?) The students have amazing talent and creativity, and it is interesting to learn of their perspectives. One of the aims is to encourage open and honest communication, in a respectful environment .. so as we ask the students to discuss things which they do not, we also encourage them to ask what they want to know of us. So instead of wanting ...

The baani style Ramayana gole singing was handed down from generation to generation. We are learning now how there were different tunes for the baani, depending on the time of the night.. I never imagine singing beyond 9pm much less until midnight and after.. but we have to pick up all the old tunes and styles before they die out. This is one of the things which are handed down, or in my case, just absorbed because you are just thrown in and you are supposed to learn.. nobody ever taught. But,.. this man we are learning or reviving some of the baani sings at a higher pitch and with a bigger voice than most of us, and I am a lil friken of him.  But tonight, he asked me to sit next to him and to sing with him on his side of the Gole.... I was like, who me.. and I am thinking that hey.I graduate Yep,  I am like the old men of years ago, except I dont smoke and I dont tek meh tups to wet or open meh troat before we start.. in fact, I was thinking,, shoots, I am officially an...

The Pandit was clear in his sermon that this night of Laxmi and this time of Navratra highlighted the need for the respect for women. He quoted several times about how a country , society and a home where women are not respected will be destroyed. We sang part of the Sabari katha from the Ramayana. The part where Sabari represents herself as the lowest of the low and Lord Rama said that regardless of who you are, the devotion is what counts. After the service, we are gaffing and one of my Ramayana gole members said that Kaliyug (this dark age, the age of the demon Kali ) is one in which men need protection and because men are not being protected then things will go haywire and that because women are 'in charge'.. the Pandit said no way, are you saying that Kaliyug means that because men are not dominating.. my colleague said.. that it is scientific, men are more adventurous than women.. then another man said that the Ramayana said something about men and women  and women ya...

There was a dog bracing the wall in the mandir.  A man was sitting next to her. I know it is her because of the teats. A real dog, not a person who I am calling a dog. I thought, what the hell.. and I looked at the two men who sit next to the dog on the nice red carpet. It was at Rama Krishna Mandir , second night of Navratra. Nobody seemed to be bothered with the dog.. or is like Hindu people, usually tolerant of most things once they not making noise. I know at another mandir they sometimes had problems with a smelly drunk man and the president had to battle between asking the man to leave/chasing him out or have the people leave the mandir in masses.. no easy thing.. but this dog, was not smelly or barking or anything like that. The old man said to leave the dog.. and I just wondered if on this nice plush carpet, who else sit down and where they come from.. and I wonder how often they clean it.. carpet hard to clean. But the Ramayana is clear ".. all animate and inanimate b...

The email from the nice lady said that there was a mistake in the budget totals. I had put the wrong formula on the Excel Spreadsheet and the budget is out by 2700 Euros.. so.. something has to be cut. One of the women volunteering with Help & Shelter has two cases she is dealing with - a 15 year old girl who has a mental disability who is continually raped and whose mother does not know how to cope with educating her.. and a 13 year old boy who is being abused by a man claiming to be his father. I have to cut the EU budget.. the money I put in for counsellors and so on is already tight and low, many of the consultants in the Government and development workers and M&E specialists I know would never work for such pittance.. or would work for the pittance and take the perks Another woman who is the sole breadwinner for her family, is trying to keep a 13 year old girl and 11 year old boy off the road and in safety.. the girl was put out of her class because she had no money ...

It is part of life now, those daily quiet beep beeps.. sound of the glucometers giving their readings. I am always cocksure because I just know.. that my numbers will be okay.. but this time, my body, not feeling good, and the sweating is not normal.. and the number is 114. So I am like, hell, no.. no.. I am not ready for this.. I know it is to happen, but not yet.. so I go and take some of the condensed milk and put in my coffee, in defiance.. next day the thing drops and then it raises back.. the number .. So.. yep, the thing is here.. and I vex bad because I thought I doing everything right and I am thinking if I die in the next second, I want to die knowing that I enjoyed all the damn things which not good for me.. they say live like a diabetic at this stage which means that no sugar, cut out, I don't want any damned advice.. I am good at doling it out. So while I tell people to watch what they eat, I will to, but then I sulk and think.. I hate carailla, nobody will tell me...

The place was hot and the man was smoking just outside the Guyana Variety Nut booth (same place that recently had publicity about discrimination against an Amerindian woman).. he was smoking tobacco though, and funnily enough one of the few people who were smoking at GuyExpo. The other man who was smoking fancy cigarette was sharing out Ethnic Relations Commission pamphlets.... GuyExpo nice like that, plenty paper sharing out and the Caribbean Container people are there to help recycle. I said no to the paper because I wanted a low carbon experience. The Health Mall was nice.. they had it one side, in a nice lil place far away from the food booths selling all the fry stuff and the ice cream stand and so on. It was good work about pushing for diabetes testing and cervical cancer testing but i was told I had to go to Eureka to test for prostate cancer. Is nice when the Government promotes the private sector. The tiny booth which they had in the Health Mall which they had for the wa...

Today I walked home part of the way from Theatre Guild. I walked down Lamaha Street , from Parade to Vlissengen and then took a bus. Twenty five  years ago, I used to walk this route, from Bishops. When  I used to walk this route, it was never ending.. the long straight road. A friend who used to walk with me found a different route through Middle Street, Third Street, Crown Street.. a first lesson in life, when you have a long journey, get the breaks and the twists and turns, they break the monotony.. and you end up in different places .. like we used to try and mek the 4:45 at Liberty Cinema now and then. The route would take us past Empire Cinema, or Plaza.  Time flies..  I felt like I was 15 again though, and I was looking at the houses and wondering who was living in them.. especially the old ones. I passed Martin Carter's house.. in those days we used to catch glimpses of him. I used to wonder at the rich people and fantasise about myself in some of the bi...