Thoughts of a minibus traveller

      Pumpkin Any pumpkin today the young man asks calmly, voice quiet. .. 400 and 500 ..  I check the skin. Snake skin, white and green. Colour though a lil pale. Not sure. Smooth and dry though. Come home and realise there was some in the freezer from before.  Things lil mix up these days, I laugh though, memory things.  Pumpkin has to cook though. Katahar seed , and some channa which was supposed to be curried but .. Cut up pumpkin. Not evenly, I can't do that. But I like when some chunks leave in the final mash. Chip up onion. Geera in the oil. Low heat to 'broil the pumpkin' . Salt - thinking lil extra for the channa and the katahar seed. Some tumeric to add lil more colour. Wiri-wiri. garlic. Decide not to put elaichi. Thing cook, low , while doing other chores which I have not had to do before but which coming up now. Smelling nice.  Think I smell burn, but is not me pot, is somebody else own. Is plenty, could eat whole week.  Taste some with puri and I give thanks.

  The baigan is on the stove and my mind is on my failure at the main task I was supposed to do and for which the consequences are manifesting. Four baigan for $200 and I buy not sure what to do with it as mind getting ready for the other changes. Body is feeling the stress pains.. which ripple through and which also make me grateful that the stress is not manifesting in other ways.  Doing other chores. Chip up the onion. Wondering how to roast the tomato..they were $200 a pound so abundance. Sharp burning smell, warm ..is around. I am breathing in and out in a way, not really thinking about   the sharpness coming in and the warmth. And the pain seems to go.. muscles kind of relax. I am not thinking of it. The sharpness brings the focus to making the choka to plan.. try a thing with frying the onion in olive oil, decide to roast the tomato on a tawa even though stove mess up but I not sure how to roast tomato on stove top.  And thinking of how baigan and tomato are family. Tawa singe

  "You want a bag?" the woman at Nedd's bakery asked , explaining is $600 for a bag of five but I bought three singles at $140 so as to reduce the likelihood that I would eat more than I should to satisfy the craving for the soft, sweet, melt in your mouth therapy    New Moon phase and body and mind and so managing the dark clouds and the different urges , the restlessness, the anxiousness, over thinking. Yoga routines and stretching and so helping a bit, healthy.  Nuts. Banana and milk; milo biscuit, pine tart, pine tart again..  MidWest Lemon biscuits..thinking hey, you  are relapsing to the binge moods which are not good ... , thankful that I did buy condensed milk or ice cream to go with it all. New challenges coming up, some delayed, some postponed. Remembering the salara from the journey to Berbice. "You have to go early, it finishes fast"but I had resisted going for about two months..  But then , midday sun and I thought yeah.. I deserve it..  And so g