Thoughts of a minibus traveller

Image from Meshach Pierre "I like the rain.. the other morning in the fog, man.. I enjoyed running in the fog" one man shared. He has not needed therapy or mental health medications the last few months. My sleep has been affected. Short term memory is also a problem, with impotence and other physical ailments. I think I am doing well despite Elections 2020 and Covid-19. I explained though that the Elections and Covid-19 are like the sun, always there, even if you stand in a shade you can still feel heat.  Meshach Pierre and Rae Wiltshire agreed to do a zoom conversation on mental health. We h ad written a blog when all this started in March. Other people joined us to talk.  We talked longer than we intended. We talked about the how the elections has put a strain on personal relationships - family. Of having to avoid people or having conversations with people who are deeply committed to their political parties. "My depression comes when I realise that peo...

Rain Night is fitful. Restless. Dreams. Wake up and body is in pain all over, hasn't been this way in awhile. I know the pain has multiple sources. Try some stretches to wake up., to get moving. The dark clouds are heavy, not only outside, but on the head. The difference is that now I know that the dark clouds are on my head and I have to be mindful. It will take care. Humidity is high. I am not sure if the humidity is related to the pain.  Quarrels, separate quarrels, with the two clients who do not want to be clients which leave me feeling exhausted and the day has not started. The rewards for providing services to these clients are not money, but 'blessings' - except that sometimes there is confusion in understanding what is needed and what could be done.   Coupled with having to deal with a stupid personal health issue, the stress is subliminal. Rain starts falling. I have to dry out some pieces of lego which I had washed and put to dry so I could give them away...

The rain Rain is drizzling and I am trying to position the camera to get a nice picture of the tangerine on the wet wood. Drops of water are falling on the camera and me. There is a lot of real work to be done, things to be fixed and created but I am trying to get a picture which I could write around even though I had said that I would close off blogging and wait until I had intelligent things to write about things that matter. The tangerine..   The belly wuk (diarrhoea ) was the worst I can remember experiencing.  Normally I am okay, eat all kinds of things from all over. It is the second time this year. The year has been good in ways in that while I have not fixed any things which were broken, or healed any damaged things, I have not broken things further and I have not made more things which need healing. I have also accepted that some things will not be fixed. The belly wuk though has no nausea or fever and I am grateful for that. I am also thinking that the depr...

430pm and I am dropping off in front of the computer. I had read that genip/quenepa could help you sleep. Place is humid and rain is falling and I think, come on go and have a nap. It is a stupid time though to have a nap and I know that even if drop off in front of the computer, the humidity will make sure that I don't really drop off on the bed. Body is paining as stress has taken over.  Watching as another loved one succumbs to the ugly racial politics of Guyana as I thought that the politics was not their thing.. and wondering if I ever lie to anyone about my values. Something about the rain though and I think come, go do the yoga routine. Go , go..  and for a moment I think heck would be good to go if I had a waterproof mat thing to go out on the wet mossy concrete and do it in the rain.. But closest thing is to open the window and go under the window.  The rain is weird though, it falling but no breeze though.  One or two times I have done this and ...

Breathing deeply. Inhaling the whiff of the cake baking. Nerves a bit tense.. not only the unfamiliar cake recipe which is my mother's favourite, but also from weeks of weirdness in which the past seems coming up as often as I try to let go. Breathing deeply and stretching. I am glad my mind is on the cake. My mind is not on the late night phone call from the loved one which ended in the quarrel and the painful hanging up and painful sadness of unmet expectations on both sides. Mind is on the cake and the irony of yoga for health with cake. Mind is not on the wishful conversations I could have had with the loved one about health and well-being and resilience and fantastic work. Mind is not on the other things which wind the body up. Mind is on the postures, and trying to do them in time for the 30 to 35 minutes of baking time which is needed. Back is not bending as it used to.. Pains are there again and I know that some of them have nothing to do with muscles but with th...

Ginger and mint tea put in glass so I could a picture for the blog, and then poured back into the cup to drink Wake up after a fairly okay night and neck shoulders jaw, mouth , hands, back, waist knees all in pain. I try to move and I wince, almost about to cry out but memories of how this pain is helps to hold back. I stumble to the toilet, and kind of hold up and try to get my mind around why the body , now .. after about three months or so of not hurting.. is just hurting. Was it the additional ice cream on the weekend?  Did I overdo the sugar? and the dairy and the milk? Did the stress pile up and then the body just crumble? But thinking also seems to generate more pain.. At some point I have gratitude - that I do not have a headache, and that I am not feeling as I did before, .. overwhelmed and wanting to go back and lie down and wait to die to end the pain. I actually start planning how to try to deal with this. I try to stretch and move around but the pain is ...