Are you sure you can do it?
Two women asked me today, separately, whether I was sure that I would do the work which I said I could do. It shocked me.. I had laid out how I think the work could be done.. and both women are referees on my CV.
Neither woman had ever asked before, I used to be able to lay out my plans and get responses. The fact that they asked.. well it hit home that some more things have to give so that I could ensure that I get these projects done properly and with a good quality.
None of us like to give up on things which we set out to do.. the first time I did that was when I dropped one 'A' Level .. after doing well in fifth form, it was expected that I should do four A levels with the best of the best.. and dropping the one had a range of responses of dismay and disappointment, to some who were glad because I would not be 'beating' them again (school competition is wonderful). Later on, I would drop out of doing some post-graduate work, and some around me muttered about me not trying hard enough.. and I sometimes wonder if I should have struggled a bit more to learn to drive and to swim.. but I just never got those.
Yesterday two women I was interviewing, we got this discussion about diabetes and they said to me 'Rebuke it! Rebuke it!".. this thing about not giving in or giving up.. I increased the number of suryanamaskar in the morning, but I cannot resist the blasted oreo cookie in the evening.. I have to buy the testing machine to see. I am always glad to read the success stories, of the people who struggled and made it.. and I have it relatively easier than most.
I think of Audre Lorde's Erotic.. all the time.. and wonder about that and war.. or fighting or struggling which is supposed to make you strong or the peace of mind which comes from 'acceptance' and not doing anything.. as a man asked me a long time ago.. what are these things you are so busy doing?
So dreaming, visions, projects started and stopped, projects completed.. at this stage.. do I say, no, I cannot do it, or say Yes, I will do it and then when things change, I just say, I made a mistake and move on? But then, how many mistakes are we allowed?
Neither woman had ever asked before, I used to be able to lay out my plans and get responses. The fact that they asked.. well it hit home that some more things have to give so that I could ensure that I get these projects done properly and with a good quality.
None of us like to give up on things which we set out to do.. the first time I did that was when I dropped one 'A' Level .. after doing well in fifth form, it was expected that I should do four A levels with the best of the best.. and dropping the one had a range of responses of dismay and disappointment, to some who were glad because I would not be 'beating' them again (school competition is wonderful). Later on, I would drop out of doing some post-graduate work, and some around me muttered about me not trying hard enough.. and I sometimes wonder if I should have struggled a bit more to learn to drive and to swim.. but I just never got those.
Yesterday two women I was interviewing, we got this discussion about diabetes and they said to me 'Rebuke it! Rebuke it!".. this thing about not giving in or giving up.. I increased the number of suryanamaskar in the morning, but I cannot resist the blasted oreo cookie in the evening.. I have to buy the testing machine to see. I am always glad to read the success stories, of the people who struggled and made it.. and I have it relatively easier than most.
I think of Audre Lorde's Erotic.. all the time.. and wonder about that and war.. or fighting or struggling which is supposed to make you strong or the peace of mind which comes from 'acceptance' and not doing anything.. as a man asked me a long time ago.. what are these things you are so busy doing?
So dreaming, visions, projects started and stopped, projects completed.. at this stage.. do I say, no, I cannot do it, or say Yes, I will do it and then when things change, I just say, I made a mistake and move on? But then, how many mistakes are we allowed?
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