Thoughts of a minibus traveller

Watching India from far "Why don't you want to come to India. how can you not want to see India.. aren't you Indian"? the man asks and texts me after. 2am where he is in India as he is home for the wedding of a lover. He is tired and emotional  so I try to tell him.. look, I don't need to go to India, India comes to me.  Modern  India with its sophisticated foreign policies has been embedded in Guyana long after the first indentured immigrants came.  Modern India with Bollywood and other things pushing 'Indian clothes' and 'Indian culture' which means consumption of Indian goods and services , far away.. I don't need to apply for the visa to go. And even if there were no prominent political visits after Indira Gandhi, India has contributed education, technical assistance, cultural connections, money and many other things to Guyana. The man does not understand my not wanting to visit India.. His residence and income are in the Middle East, and h

Mental health gaff organised by CAISO.   The facilitator is talking about compassion , and doing some visualisation work.  Evening at the end of a strange Guyana day which started with Baba Prezzy trying to show he is a big man and hauling people at dawn to cuss up about contract delays and so on. Other people use dawn to pray, meditate and to get ready for the day ahead. World though has all kind of different people and gathering. Activity is to imagine a being which would give you compassion. And I thought about trees.  In another connecting discussion on another evening, the facilitator reminds everyone about the connection with every thing in the Universe (including the people who struggling to show power and who taking money to do work that they cannot do and so on, and the plants and animals and so) There was no discussion about what kind of beings to connect with . I could have created some magical thing but then magic is already around us in many ways. So the trees, still and s

  Dear Diya  There is no breeze and I like how your flame is nice and steady. There are bombs going off all over, made from fire too, and bombs which we don't hear killing children and adults in places where Diyas might not be lit. It is just one of you this year again, part of the tradition as the soul of another relative moves on.  I am glad the flame came up at the relevant point in the prayers. Do those people who  throw squibs, and those who allow them to make noise also say prayers , preferring bombs and squibs in their worship to the quiet light you give? There are a lot of diyas and lights being lit around the place without the prayers. It is like if there is a need to remove the sacred Hindu from you , make you secular , no puja and so, just food and decorations and lights. Hearing how Presidents who aint Hindu lighting up diyas in their houses and so on, and in USA playing aarti and so.  But dear Diya, scary how some of dem coolie people think that white man who don'

  Weaving dry leaves   Saturday afternoon and sun hot. There is bench with shadows of the leaves of a nearby tree on one half, and light on the other.  Sit on the shadow on the bench.  Looking to see when the others will come for the meeting. We decided, fresh air and outdoors, Botanical Gardens.  Two people sitting under another tree. A lot of blue and pink balloons around, look like gender-reveal parties are a thing in the gardens.  Ice cream music far away More shadows of leaves appear on the bench. Time reaches for the meeting. Plan to come and be creative , in community.  T No one comes. I have a pen,and a small notepad. I have work to do at home I pick up a dry leaf and shade the texture on a paper, then take a blue ink pen to trace out veins and so.  Finish that and no one still coming.  Place not too hot.  Take out a page from the pad. Remember high school 'clothing and textiles' with warp and weft. Decide to weave the grass in a way. imagining a kind of mosaic mat of

(This is not a review of Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson )  Guard The business place invited me and a lot of others to come  and do a transaction so we could continue doing business with them.  A lot of us probably would go elsewhere but like so many relationships which are bad, leaving is not always easier than staying. I pass one guard , not really seeing him as he is shorter than me and he tells me to go to 'the woman there' .. "the woman there" - another security guard, smiling , polite, tells me 'don't worry it wouldn't take long', relaxed stance.",, and 'you here , might as well stay.." when I realise that I am in the black hole of customer waiting. Sit down and take out Open Water.  I have started, stopped, started many times since I got it over a year ago. Place nice and cool with the AC, some children running around.  TV has cricket India and Bangladesh silent silent. Ads and so for 'NRIs' .. and loans and so. Radio

 Pink grapefruit  "Dem is one fuh 200, 3 for 500, dem is One for hundred" the man shouted at me in the market after I stopped and looked at the two baskets of pink grapefruit. I started picking up the smaller onesit to feel them , he continued 'three for two hundred'  Different sizes, some have the pale yellow skins , others the green skin with splotches of pink.  Teeth and so been giving me some issues and I wonder if something is wrong because in this oil and gas , climate changed economy is rare to find citrus going 'cheap'  and some are not juicy or not 'sweet'   I feeling to see if anything wrong, fingers working the fruit while mind going through all kind of things that .. dis can't be true.. I wonder if exxon people reject them and send them back, or if is Brazillian extras the man get.. or is it stolen property and the man hustling to sell off before police come .. (There was another man who used to sell ortanique cheaper than everybody els