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Showing posts from April, 2019

Looking for blood on the towel...

I am quietly looking for blood stains on the towel I had washed in the morning. Patient A had said that blood was on the towel after drying the skin after the shower. I muttered about going to the doctor, like the last time the Patient had found blood on the towel. I was shut down immediately 'Nothing is wrong, probably a scratch' and I felt tired as I had done the previous times when nothing was wrong until something became wrong and my nerves had been destroyed. So I washed the towel wondering if it was blood, because blood does not come off so easily with bleach and soap powder and scrubbing or maybe it is the material of the towel. The same towel as the last time. I keep silent though, I am relieved that for now there is no blood on the towel after the Patient had a shower and dried the skin. I dare not make a comment because I will be shut down. Blood can appear on a towel for different reasons. Like cancer or so.  I am trying not to prevent the future catastrop

Love and walking past the car..

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Morning after a restless night. Patient woke me up about three times. Patient does not want to go hospital. I am walking on the Road, East.. going to by medication that will not work. I am too tired to really argue.. just doing what the patient asks. Traffic Light. Busy road. I am walking East Line of cars facing west. I hear a hail up "why you not wearing proper shoes' and I laugh. Human connection. Nice. Head goes back down. I keep walking. Thinking. I hear 'morning'. I see driver. Shock clouds my mind. Stills my tongue. Driver has pulled down window to say Morning. Driver in shades. Indian music playing in car. Driver had written an email a month ago to say the shunning will resume with a polite explanation. I am too tired to be fake and smile. I shout while walkig.. ' you arite'.. I hear 'yes'' and without looking I shout 'good' and I keep walking.. feeling weird. I cross the road.. behind the car. I can never be sure of the