Thoughts of a minibus traveller

All talk... "It is all talk talk, no real action,," one survivor said before the conversation on "What do the 16 days of activism against gender based violence mean to survivors ?". The conversation was held on the 2 December, 2021 and was facilitated by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott. The participants reflected on the recent case in which an 18 year old who survived rape tried to report to a police station i n Guyana. Tonika Calder's family went to the media after she died by suicide.  We talked about the needs of survivors, and how these needs are not always met:- Freedom from fear - especially when the justice system allows the perpetrators to go free or do not act to be Believed A way out support and follow up We talked that survivorship is not just 16 days, but every day and that it was important to keep the conversation going as there were so many beliefs and myths which continue the cycle. There was discussion that while laws might be in place, implementation w...

 The 14th conversation about domestic violence in Guyana explored the lessons learned from the Guyana Women's Health and Life Experiences Survey (2018) (GWHLES) The conversation was held on 28 October, 2021 and it was led by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott and facilitated by Vidyaratha Kissoon. The survey The Guyana Women’s Health and Life Experiences Survey examines the nature and prevalence of violence against women and girls in Guyana (particularly intimate-partner violence). The conclusions of the survey include (quoting from the report) :- 55% of the women surveyed who had ever had a male partner have experienced some form of intimate partner violence (IPV) in their lifetime The global average is 1 in 3.  38% of the survey respondents experienced physical and/or sexual violence. Only half of those who have experienced IPV have ever sought help. Barriers to help seeking include  lack of knowledge of available help being blamed or stigmatized by their situation becoming known...

  "Healing and Trauma : Stages" was the theme of the 13th virtual conversation on domestic violence on 29 July, 2021. Persons joined from New Amsterdam, Linden and Georgetown in Guyana; Barbados, Trinidad & Tobago, Canada, UK, USA.  Carlotta Boodie-Walcott shared the opening thoughts and the conversation was facilitated by Vidyaratha Kissoon Trauma The following points were noted about surviving traumatic experiences:- the experiences could be one off (eg an accident, experience of a crime, incidence of violence,), or pattern of experiences (in abusive situations, neglect as a child, compounded with other experiences) Trauma results in a disconnection/disassociation with self as a way the body uses to survive.. the memory/memories can be hidden or suppressed trauma can be manifested in different ways - insomnia, physical health problems, mental health problems, eating disorders and other addictions, dysfunctional relationships and sometimes much later on from when the inc...

  The conversation about Intimate Partner Violence in LGBTIQ+ relationships was held on 24 June, 2021. The conversation was held in collaboration with Guyana Rainbow Foundation(Guybow).  Dr Preity Kumar, Asst Professor, Hamilton College, New York  and Colleen McEwan, Executive Director, Guybow shared opening thoughts to lead the discussion.  Carlotta Boodie-Walcott and Vidyaratha Kissoon facilitated the conversation.  Preity shared from the research she had done as part of PhD. Her thesis "Women Lovin’ Women: An Exploration of Identities, Belonging, and Communities in Urban and Rural Guyana" includes a chapter  on the Culture of Violence experienced by the women who shared their stories.  The culture of violence experienced by the women was connected to experiences of early childhood abuse, suicidal thoughts and attempts, non suicidal self harm, sexual violence,  racialised sexual violence , psychological and economic violence. Colleen reflected ...

  Participants joined the domestic violence conversation on 27 May 2021 to discuss faith, spirituality and healing.  This conversation was held one year to the day since the first one on 28 May, 2020.  The conversation was led by Beverly Braithwaite-Chan and facilitated by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott.  These notes reflect some of the discussion and sharing which took place in the space. Some persons felt the space was safe enough to share their experiences - some for the first time.  There was time and energy given to work through the pain. One woman shared a poem she wrote to reflect on her own experience of surviving domestic violence. Faith is an action  word Beverly shared the following thoughts to catalyse the discussion "faith" is about connection to an external deity, and is aligned with doctrine, rituals, religion, scriptures  "spirituality' is about connection to the inner self, and to the universe. Spirituality does not need a personal god. "fait...

  April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. The 10th Conversation on Domestic Violence prevention was held around the theme 'Let's talk about Consent'. The conversation was held on Thursday 29th April, 2021. Participants joined from Linden, New Amsterdam and other parts of Guyana, and from Barbados and the USA. The conversation was facilitated by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott and Vidyaratha Kissoon These notes reflect some of the discussions.  Consent Guyana's Sexual Offences Act (2010) defines 'consent' as "words or overt actions by a person who is competent to give informed consent indicating a freely given agreement to have sexual intercourse or other sexual contact;"  We discussed the aspects of consent related to having information for consequences, for understanding how people can be fooled into giving consent. Foreplay, communication We discussed that the culture has some values that 'no means yes' and that some people believe that men have to ...

   The theme of the first conversation on Domestic violence for 2021 was  Providing inclusive and accessible services for survivors with disabilities ".  The conversation was held virtually on Thursday 28 December, 2021, and was facilitated by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott and Vidyaratha Kissoon The participants joined from Linden, Patentia, New Amsterdam and Manchester in Berbice; from Georgetown and from Barbados, Dominica and  USA.  Some participants were part of disability advocacy groups while others were engaging in deep conversation for the first time on providing services for persons with disabilities. These notes reflect some of the discussions and recommendations.   The conversation started with the screening of this video from FONHARE in Haiti   "Tell the man not to eat all the rice.."  All of the participants recognised that the health services, social services and police are not easily accessible to persons with disabilitie...

The theme of the conversation on Domestic violence was 'Surivivorship and advocacy" . The conversation was held virtually on Thursday 3 December, 2020, and was facilitated by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott. The participants joined from Linden, New Amsterdam and other parts of Berbice; from Georgetown and from Barbados and California, USA. These notes reflect some of the discussions and recommendations.  Survivorship The participants shared their views and experiences on Survivorship in the context of domestic violence/intimate partner violence. They agreed that surviving is not only moving away from an abusive relationship. These included :-  surviving within the abusive relationship, coping with the fear leaving the abusive relationship dealing with all the feelings of loss, anger, uncertainty, fear after leaving the relationship Trying to answer, or not answer questions such as :- "How can I live without that person?" So many person's identity is tied to being i...

  "Healing Practices" was the theme for the seventh conversation about domestic violence which was held on 17 September, 2020. The conversation was led by Terrie Mystique and facilitated by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott . The participants shared some of the practices which they used as part of their healing journey. Survivors noted that leaving the abusive relationship was just the first step, and that healing continues afterwards.  Some of the points which were noted during the discussion are: First step is to recognise that healing is needed "We have to forgive ourselves before we start healing". People shared about feeling angry at themselves for staying so long, or blaming themselves for not seeing the warning signs of abuse, and feeling this way after the abusive relationship ended. Recognise that 'love is the absence of judgement' and that numbing pain or ignoring pain is not the way to heal, that feeling the emotional and physical pain is part of healing fr...

  "I put myself in the centre of the flower, because I know I have to care for myself before worrying about others.." the woman said.  "Healing through understanding self"was the theme of the sixth conversation about preventing domestic violence. The conversation was held virtually on Thursday 27 August, 2020. The conversation was led by Dr Janice M Jackson. The moderator was Carlotta Boodie-Walcott. We were talking about the flower exercise. The flower exercise is one of the self-analysis tools which were shared by Dr Jackson . These notes reflect some of the thoughts shared in the conversation.  "Dim the noises in your head, unclutter your mind of all the expectations" We talked about the different  messages which come from different places, and how the negative messages are heard more often then positive ones. One woman shared " Sometimes highlighting the positives are seen as exalting oneself and therefore it affects your ability to share the...

"Healing through understanding self" was the theme of the fifth conversation about preventing domestic violence. The conversation was held virtually on Thursday 30 July, 2020. The conversation was led by Dr Janice M Jackson. The moderator was Carlotta Boodie-Walcott. The participants joined from different parts of Guyana, and from outside of Guyana. These notes reflect some of the experiences and lessons shared in the conversation. Loving thy neighbour as thy self and Selfishness "We are taught that we have to look after others first in the families", "That's me , I have to work on my personal self care. I am guilty of putting others first" , "People think it is selfish if you try to say 'no' if you can't do something for them" "We should understand that saying about loving thy neighbour, that you can't love your neighbour unless you love yourself in a healthy way" We discussed how our ideas of w...

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay "Healing for child survivors of domestic violence" was the theme of the fourth conversation held on Thursday 9 July, 2020. In previous conversations ,  people talked about the trauma endured by children, and the scarcity of resources to address this trauma. This conversation was led my Marsha Hinds-Layne and Romola Lucas. They shared their personal experiences and recommendations.  The moderator was Carlotta Boodie-Walcott. People joined from Guyana, Trinidad & Tobago, Dominica, Barbados, USA, UK.   These notes reflect some of the points raised in the discussion. "Don't stay because of the children" There is a subtle pressure to 'preserve' the family at all costs in the Caribbean, and that pressure is put on women who are dealing with abusive partners. Children feel guilty when they feel responsible for their mother staying in the abuse. One survivor said her son told her "Mommy, I want to ...

Image by Anja🤗#helpinghands #solidarity#stays healthy🙏 from Pixabay Healing in Community: People need People was the theme of the third online conversation about preventing domestic violence. The conversation was held on Thursday 25 June, 2020. Participants joined from Barbados, Dominica, Guyana, Trinidad & Tobago, Canada and the USA. Some persons identified themselves as survivors, many of whom are also working as advocates and helpers. The lead facilitator was Carlotta Boodie- Walcott – a therapist - and the moderator was Vidyaratha Kissoon. The online space was created as a ‘brave space’, for persons to share as they feel. We invoked Melissa Soman, 17 years old. A man who was supposed to love her, killed her. The police have charged the man. We invoked Rehanna Rahaman, 18 years old. A man who was supposed to love her, beat her, threw her down on the ground. She died soon after. The police have not charged him. These notes reflect some of points made in the...