Beep.. beep..

It is part of life now, those daily quiet beep beeps.. sound of the glucometers giving their readings. I am always cocksure because I just know.. that my numbers will be okay.. but this time, my body, not feeling good, and the sweating is not normal.. and the number is 114. So I am like, hell, no.. no.. I am not ready for this.. I know it is to happen, but not yet.. so I go and take some of the condensed milk and put in my coffee, in defiance.. next day the thing drops and then it raises back.. the number ..

So.. yep, the thing is here.. and I vex bad because I thought I doing everything right and I am thinking if I die in the next second, I want to die knowing that I enjoyed all the damn things which not good for me.. they say live like a diabetic at this stage which means that no sugar, cut out,

I don't want any damned advice.. I am good at doling it out. So while I tell people to watch what they eat, I will to, but then I sulk and think.. I hate carailla, nobody will tell me to drink carailla juice and if they do, I will drink a sweet drink in front of them..

Plenty people like carailla.. so my karma will not be that I will have to give up my sweet tooth to eat carailla..
The exercise thing.. walking is good, but if you have pes cavus then walking is a problem if you dont have inserts.. and the next thing is that you get charcot foot.. all of these are down the line. So,, back to a yoga routine that would be accessible and do the work that walking should do.

It is crazy, these changes, stress has to be managed, but managing this crap is also stressful, and they say stress is the most thing.. so I have to find an alternative to oreos to deal with the stress ..

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