Today well lived..
The minbus driver ask me how I do, an' I tell he, ah tryin' . The man seh is why yall stay suh? Why yall dont like admit dat ting nice an' yall enjoyin' life? I laff - I tell he true, I just come out de barber shop so I mussee look handsome an clean like if everyting' good wid me.We talk about how fish and chips now mekin' money, and how it used to be chicken.. and we talk about food and who buyin' food and who cookin' food and how shop food dont have all de nutrients..
Eating healthy came up again with the Lower Sixth students - some said they dont like eating healthily. So I jumped in.. and talked about how the good food now is an investment in the future.. even as low as I was feeling about my present. Something stuck in my head today..from Kalidasa apparently
This October month is such a mix of things.. my birthday, the birthdays of the once closely loved ones who no longer speak to me, the close to end of year when fatigue sets in, the joyful time of Divali,
Some days I want to just lie down and go blank.. the feelings of being tired and overwhelmed with the things which are to be done, the things which I would like done, the subtle pressure to ensure that there is adequate income so I could well live all these todays and have these dreams of happiness.
The karma - facing the emails asking for updates on things which I promised.. and in my head, the things which i want to write about which cannot be written because there is no time and my mind cannot seem to string the words and thoughts together at the speed which is required.
2011 is coming soon, and I feel as though I have not learnt the things, that I am getting denser or that my mind is full of things .. one lifestyle change is recognising that something has to be given up.
I cannot keep up at the same rate trying to improve my career and work prospects while trying to manage projects related to child abuse and domestic violence.. and also try to maintain a level of competence and knowledge there to be able to keep up, to also be innovative .
And now, it is about choices.. I can no longer do everything.. it is hard to accept.
The hours need to write the letters about the liquor and the horrific lack of memory of government officials and testing ideas to improve child protection.. it is either that now, or leisure reading, or exercise, or customising Organic Groups in Drupal (which I wish I could just sit down and do and lock out the world, nothing like solving a programming puzzle .. well getting the sada roti to swell)
So.. how to pick and choose? This year, two projects which I dreamed up, wrote, got funded and approved. but I had to pull out, and people not pleased. While other projects are waiting to be written. So now, to try a thing, write for others to implement..
Every moment well lived.. someone told me a long time ago, that every time we make a choice to do something.. it means we are not doing something else, we have lost out or missed out on what might have been.. and then we not supposed to wonder.. what if? What if?
Eating healthy came up again with the Lower Sixth students - some said they dont like eating healthily. So I jumped in.. and talked about how the good food now is an investment in the future.. even as low as I was feeling about my present. Something stuck in my head today..from Kalidasa apparently
Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is lifeI thought of this thing about living in the moment, about forgetting the past and not worrying about the future.
This October month is such a mix of things.. my birthday, the birthdays of the once closely loved ones who no longer speak to me, the close to end of year when fatigue sets in, the joyful time of Divali,
Some days I want to just lie down and go blank.. the feelings of being tired and overwhelmed with the things which are to be done, the things which I would like done, the subtle pressure to ensure that there is adequate income so I could well live all these todays and have these dreams of happiness.
The karma - facing the emails asking for updates on things which I promised.. and in my head, the things which i want to write about which cannot be written because there is no time and my mind cannot seem to string the words and thoughts together at the speed which is required.
2011 is coming soon, and I feel as though I have not learnt the things, that I am getting denser or that my mind is full of things .. one lifestyle change is recognising that something has to be given up.
I cannot keep up at the same rate trying to improve my career and work prospects while trying to manage projects related to child abuse and domestic violence.. and also try to maintain a level of competence and knowledge there to be able to keep up, to also be innovative .
And now, it is about choices.. I can no longer do everything.. it is hard to accept.
The hours need to write the letters about the liquor and the horrific lack of memory of government officials and testing ideas to improve child protection.. it is either that now, or leisure reading, or exercise, or customising Organic Groups in Drupal (which I wish I could just sit down and do and lock out the world, nothing like solving a programming puzzle .. well getting the sada roti to swell)
So.. how to pick and choose? This year, two projects which I dreamed up, wrote, got funded and approved. but I had to pull out, and people not pleased. While other projects are waiting to be written. So now, to try a thing, write for others to implement..
Every moment well lived.. someone told me a long time ago, that every time we make a choice to do something.. it means we are not doing something else, we have lost out or missed out on what might have been.. and then we not supposed to wonder.. what if? What if?
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