End violence against women now? Notes from the DV conversation on what the 16 days mean to survivors

All talk...

"It is all talk talk, no real action,," one survivor said before the conversation on "What do the 16 days of activism against gender based violence mean to survivors ?".

The conversation was held on the 2 December, 2021 and was facilitated by Carlotta Boodie-Walcott.

The participants reflected on the recent case in which an 18 year old who survived rape tried to report to a police station in Guyana. Tonika Calder's family went to the media after she died by suicide. 

We talked about the needs of survivors, and how these needs are not always met:-

  • Freedom from fear - especially when the justice system allows the perpetrators to go free or do not act
  • to be Believed
  • A way out
  • support and follow up

We talked that survivorship is not just 16 days, but every day and that it was important to keep the conversation going as there were so many beliefs and myths which continue the cycle.

There was discussion that while laws might be in place, implementation was not happening.

Commitment to action

The group discussed that every action, no matter how small, could help. There was a caution in when reaching out to persons who were not ready to deal with the abuse, to be prepared for rejection and to also be conscious of safety and not be alone. 

One survivor said that she always offers help in ways remembering how she felt when she used to not recognise that abuse was happening.

Some persons said they did not have patience. We discussed that not everyone can be an empathetic listener but other skills could be used for advocacy and to ensure that support services are available.

Other actions include:

  • If you are able to listen, let people know that you are willing to listen
  • Offer to help with chores, baby sitting so that the survivor can get time off to think through things
  • Let survivors know that they can take their time about any decision. Help them to think of safety in the meantime
  • Share information about available hotlines and help agencies. Guyana has the 914 hotline and the National Coordinating Coalition has a hotline service Call, Message or WhatsApp 628-7833 or 637-3319 .   Help & Shelter has 24 hr hotline numbers 613 1758, 613 1811

  • Share brochures, posters and flyers in public spaces - put on the notice board at work or health centres, police stations etc
  • Break the stigma around surviving violence - share the messages of 'It is not your shame, It is not your blame'
  • Challenge the beliefs in church and the society which allow domestic violence to continue. 
  • Keep talking and sharing information, holding Government and other public agencies accountable

Safe space

The participants who have joined the conversation series said they welcome that the space is a safe space to talk and to share, and that similar spaces are needed for survivors.

Previous conversations in the series include

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