Thoughts of a minibus traveller

Random thought come in to my head.. twenty years ago the walking and running had helped to restore wellness but there was an erosion of knees, routine, schedules.. Nice Friday afternoon.. seawall is there.. and something says.. go.. . Rubber slippers are not comfortable to walk in but nothing is comfortable any more. Seawall does not have too many people. Breeze is nice, tide is there.. sun is still hot.. going down. I did not bother with the warm up stretches which used to be a thing when going to run. I remember the rhythm of walking first.. walking east and facing the breeze as the warm up. The path is narrower now because of the rip-wrap thing. Slippers are not too bad, the legs start tinging. Legs move though and I walk in the memory of the times. This used to be the best exercise.. different from anywhere else because of the open space. I see a nice boat with a rippling reflection in the water and think, Hell, I should have brought the camera.. and laugh because back in t...

Dear evening at the end of June.. I had forgotten the promise that I had made to go and sit down and eat dinner by the window and look out during the evening time. Some people pray during this time. A long time ago I would have been cooling out after a run on the seawall. I had the habit of eating while watching something on the computer and then thought that was crazy as it was difficult sometimes to move mouse and so when the fingers had curry or stew or something on them.  Blackout again. But still it was nice to see the reflections , and then the camera also took some reflections. A strange time. I have asked for suspension from the only paying assignment I had as I try to get myself back on track. I have had to get a new computer and that has meant new passwords and a whole set of things. I am using the barest minimum as Windows 10 is not my thing and I hope to get the Linux sorted out but that is not as easy as I thought it was and I am supposed to be on a break chil...

by Vidyaratha Kissoon “I don’t think I have ever seen anything like this before.. I was wondering what was happening with art in Guyana” the man said to the art students at the Umana Yana. The students from the University of Guyana had put on a large exhibition of over 100 pieces of work. The exhibition was called “Artists in Perception”. The exhibition was held from 19 th to 24 th June, 2017. The man said he was an artist, and he congratulated the students on their efforts. I had dropped in on the exhibition. I did not expect the wide scope of the exhibition. I thought the exhibition was ‘awesome’. An artist asked ‘how so’ . I could not explain since I am not artsy and I do not have the words. There were vibrant colours. One powerful installation by Alavina Naughton was dedicated to the women who were attacked by their male partners after they left abusive relationships. The artists asked the viewers what they would tell perpetrators. There we...

Looking at the slightly yellowed invitations which I kept because they were too beautiful to just throw away but then I also thought I could use them one day. There is a whole set of envelopes and invitations and covers and programmes which I think I could 'reuse' one day. A gift of a pen , the kind of pen which makes you wish you could write beautifully so that everyone could understand. The cardboard are different sizes, so they cannot fit into the printer to print out business cards. I don't have a business and I manage to dodge a lot of questions of who am I and 'what do you do ' because I am not certain myself any more. So then I decide.. take the scissors,cut up the cardboard and write down the name and the email address and the phone numbers. As I write I think shoots, how do I write the '1' in the email so that it does not look like 'l' or '7' as has happened before. And so I write them  up, each card slighty different from the...

Dear chocolate mug cake w hich was made quickly in the microwave..  I am grateful to you for providing, with peanut butter, the nutty, crumbly chocolate sweetness that helped to calm me down. I know I have consumed 1/4 cup sugar, 2 tbsp oil and so on, but to hell with it...  my mind was in a mess and I could not do the yoga. I am grateful that I had all the ingredients and the microwave to make the cake. I am grateful for the borrowed computer which I have to adjust to.. moving from Linux back to Windows is difficult.. borrowed as I contemplate the loss of everythign on the last computer and starting over. Starting over.. the angst generated by the phone call from the loved one who used to call sometimes and the brutal response to an email sent to explain the need for some reconciliation.. mug cake, understanding that love is complex. There are some people I will never be able to reconcile with. I am glad for the phone conversation with the woman who has mental health...

by Vidyaratha Kissoon “I would like to see a solar panel on every roof in Guyana” said Raphael Hazel. The bureaucracies around the Deeds Registry and the electricity company prevented Raphael from sorting out grid electricity for the house. As a result, Raphael had to go completely off the grid with solar energy much earlier than he intended. The house, the Anchorage, is one of the remaining wooden houses in Guyana. The windows and doors are surrounded by graceful trimmings of carved wood. There are wooden shutters which are mixed with glass windows. The shutters were specially designed for shade and cooling from the sun – the source of the energy which now powers the appliances in the house. Solar energy refers to the heat and light energy from the sun. There is rapid interest in harnessing the energy to replace fossil fuels. The interesting news from around the world – large polluter China now has a floating solar farm on land which had been destroyed by mi...

Decide to do the sugar control thing and walk from Sports Hall round the corner to Duncan Street to catch the bus. Sun is hot and place humid for the rain I see a car with a stand. Woman , man, two children. I see from a distance that the stand has kowa. And a kind of roundish yellow pinkish fruit which I thought was passion fruit. A Trini friend had told me about the whole granadilla 'bah bah dine' punch thing. I ask the family what it was and they said 'grandiee..' pronouncing the two ll's like the French ll. Woman said $200 for one, 3 for $500. I contemplate this. I had not heard of the punch before or eaten. Is a new thing. Try it small. I say I don't have change and I find 180 for the one. I ask her how to do the drink. She  laughed and said, cut it, eat the seeds and peel off the yellow skin. The white thing you blend with milk, ice and sugar. 'Not too much water.. ' I ask her if I have to strain.. soursop is labour intensive like t...

Place hot and humid.. sun is out after morning rain. Work done.. thankfully.. two tasks one of which was not completed too well. Feeling anxious, and the unempty stomach and the stiff joints with pain lurking prevent the stretching and  breathing which would help. The restlessness prevents concentration and focus on work. One email requires emotional intelligence and listening. Others indicate appreciation. It is good to be useful. Place hot but I put the hot water on the tea bag. There is no sugar outside.. it is tucked away because we not supposed to be using sugar. I decide no no.. no excuses for sweet. Today.  Put milk, cinammon, nutmeg which is around. Too lazy to find the elaichi. Sipping is good. One sip at a time and the mind keeps whirling, but it is not whirling as much. There are many things to sort out. Same things keep coming up. Imaginary conversations people who have stopped talking to me.  But sip at a time, and for now.. things calm down. Te...

"I am glad to see Mr Kissoon... we have to learn how to deal with controversial subjects as librarians" the Chief Librarian said in her opening remarks. I was surprised but I realised that I was an external person on the programme. And the programme at the University had LGBTIQ on it and the moderator did say she wondered what the letters mean. I was nervous as the last time I was in the space, I had left after an interaction with the Vice Chancellor. Year is rough as the personal goals are thrown to the wayside and wellness is becoming more elusive. The pain of losing the fragile connection again with a loved one .. a connection which was 10 years old;  and saying no to other things because the mind would not work dominate and show the trend of inability to be responsive and progressive Random email comes in with a Call for Papers for the 7th Annual Library Research Day. I delete the mail when I realise the date and I think no, by then I would not be able to do anyt...

Gratitude for the random gift from the Universe of having a bit of soursop and some banana and passion fruit around and so it is nice to blend and mix with a bit of milk and sugar and ice on the hot day. Nice to sip while watching a thing on the Internet and not feeling too tense. Something about the foamy drink and how it seems to warm up quickly even with the ice cubes in it. Still, sipping it slowly to enjoy it. The seeds of the passion fruit are crunchy. As the glass empties, the drink becomes less crunchy. When the juice is finished, the crushed passion fruit seeds are at the bottom of the glass. They settle while the drink is finished. They don't taste nice all at once so they are left in the glass. They should have been strained but the soursop itself is labour intensive to make the glass of nice cold fresh juice. Gratitude for the time to actually blend up the soursop. Gratitude for the energy to experiment with this and to try things out. Not big things, but the ...

by Vidyaratha Kissoon “You aint apply yet.. what you waiting for?” the man asked me. He is an educator , Guyanese born and in full time employment in the United States. He earns supplemental income by tutoring students in English. The tutoring is done over the Internet. His students are in Taiwan. There is a 12 hour time difference so he starts working at 5am some days. Other times he works in the night from 7pm or so. He had visited Guyana recently and managed to conduct his classes though the Internet was slow. The company provides software in which the tutors connect with the students using audio and video. The company is recruits people who have certified in teaching English as a Second Language (ESL) or who are thinking about certifying. I emailed the agency he recommended. I wanted to find out if they recruited people living in Guyana. There has been no reply from the agency. Karen is an educator living in Guyana. A few years ago, she had also encourage...

"Keep it, keep it.." Josette Norris said . She had given me a copy of the poem '79' by Shake (pronounced Shak-ie) Keane. Shake Kean was a trumpet player and made a name for himself in Europe and North America. The poem is about the 1979 eruption of the St Vincent Soufriere volcano. It refers to 'rancid hope and Guyana rice'. I don't know if any other Caribbean poets have written about Guyana in their poems. I have never been to any event in Guyana where an artist gave me a poem written by a jazz musician. Josette Norris's tribute to Shake includes a broken 78 record - Fire Fire. She says that it might have been one of her grandmother's collection of 78 records which the children used as frisbees. There are three paintings featuring lizards. 'Lizards are beautiful' she says. I agree. There is an interesting range of work. She uses techniques to give some 3 dimensional effects.  There are other beautiful paintings of flowers,...

Saturday afternoon, Place is humid. Umana Yana was dim for the showing of the films. The place is bright. High Street is clear. No traffic, nobody is walking I decide to walk to the next venue of the films- Dutch Bottle Cafe on North Road. Sun is not too bright, Slight breeze. Thinking of the road and how fast I could make it. Walking purposefully on the pavement  which is no longer smooth but up and down to accomodate different bridges and trees and other obstacles. The pavement is like a stretch of rug on some bumpy floor. Legs start to hurt a bit. I think this is a good time for a robber to come up. I tend to think like a robber when walking some spots. I see a girl and a boy laughing. They seem to racing over the bridge and coming down. If someone robbed them, I don't know what I would do. There are no cars. I reach Ministry of Finance. Trees give nice shade on the smooth avenue. A police vehicle passes. There isn't much traffic. We had protested VAT here...

by Vidyaratha Kissoon The run up to the 2015 elections had some really active involvement of youths in dreaming about Guyana . Some young people wrote about the “Guyana I want “ . Some of the youths got the Guyana they wanted, and it seems things have fizzled out a bit. I did an All fools Manifesto in 2015 and then forgot about dreaming about Guyana because of some of the emerging nightmares that the dreams were not going to happen. So dreaming about Guyana in 51 years of independence and not in any random order as dreams are never in order. It would be nice if some of this happens now :- There will be no beating of children in Guyana’s schools. There is a report of teachers beating an Amerindian child who might be dyslexic. There are other children suffering around the country. The Minister of Education will resign if he cannot stop teachers from beating children in Guyana’s schools Guyanese will stop beating their children. Teachers who want to be b...

Still from Art Connect trailer at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrOar7cehbo "I want to do a documentary but .. " the young man smiled and said. He told me this was the first time he had come to a film festival in Guyana. He was surprised and happy. The T imehri Film Festival is a gift to Guyana from Alysia S. Christiani , Romola Lucas and Justin Blaize working under the Caribbean Film Academy, Rewind and Come Again Blog   The first festival was in 2016 and they have returned to Guyana with another one. They want to show Caribbean films and to encourage film makers in Guyana. Adero by Kojo McPherson was screened in this festival to positive reviews.  I had to stand outside as the place was packed.  It was very different from the first night a year ago. There is a mix of feature length and short films. There are documentaries and narrative. Art Connect is a powerful documentary about work done in Trinidad & Tobago with some children in L...

Salara is red there , in the case. I know I know.. I don't want you. The once slack pants waist is branding my belly now. The sugar is high. I have to let go of you.. but is either you or replying to the random message 'I have no time for you I am busy' from the loved one who used to call on the way home and who said I was scary in my anger and who has been shunning me since. Day starts good. I can't bend to do any of the yoga. Trying to focus on nice things. Some conversations start and my body tenses. I know I have to back down. I see the message. I try not to read it. I breathe. I had hoped that the next contact would have been 'Hey.. are you free, I can come over now and let us talk'. I know from a long time ago how much telling people that 'I am busy, I have no time' is hurtful. I learned how to explain and finding the time or finding ways to be helpful.  I learned from others of ways of making time. I am grateful that I have never had ...

You don't taste too bad though I wonder if my blood pressure would drop. I was not sure what to do with the surplus cucumbers  - curry is always an option  . It took awhile to make you though but in the end it was worth it. Contemplating you and thinking of you, and thinking that is 'June already' and I haven't found a lasting way to be focussed on doing things and getting things done. I managed another round of the surya namskar.. the full round but at the end I wondered perhaps , like the running and so from the past, if the body can't deal with it any more.  It is human to keep looking back and seeing if the things which used to work in the past would be helpful. I remember peeling the cucumbers first and then thinking, let me leave bits of skin as well as the skin 'good for you'. I think some of you were too young so the first taste was a bit metallic. But , cold.. you taste nice. I know I have to make choices about getting to a healthy stage ...