Thoughts of a minibus traveller

Contract term is ended. No indication from the client if they want to extend. The work is not done. I feel weird. Should I quit politely. I need the money. Don't quit. The out of control feeling instead of a feeling of a job completed and well done. Other jobs though. Cooking for caregiving is a nervous process. The food is not what I would like to eat, there is a cycle which I could break if I find ways to work time around the meal times. Guilt at not wanting some food when others have no food. There is no motivation though to reorganise. The windows are dirty. They need cleaning. The El Nino dust is lingering on things which should be disposed of but there is sin in broaching those subjects. The place is hot. I should get up and move. I don't feel like it. Not like when I used to get up and go and run. It is easy to sit. There is enough junk to watch on the Internet. A few requests for information come in and I answer them. I take my time to compose an email o...

Teaching aid from Gifted Hands Learning Centre By Vidyaratha Kissoon The child wrote Common Entrance. Her mother took her to register at the secondary school. The head teacher at the secondary school refused to register the child. The child is blind. ‘We aint’ got facilities fuh blind chirren’ Another head teacher said the same thing. The child’s mother has been fighting to ensure that her child gets care and education as guaranteed in the Constitution of Guyana. The child’s mother was advised by a friend in the Government to just register at a private school which will guarantee support. She might get help with fees for the private school from the Government. Two other children who are blind and who should register for secondary school are also facing the same discrimination. They don’t have friends in Government. The bureaucracy in the Ministry of Education is overwhelming for the parents. One of the parents does not want put h...

1. Distraction I am one of the statistics. I am mindlessly scrolling up and down the Facebook feed instead of doing some  boring tasks. There is lots to distract. I end up reading intelligent articles about social justice, gossip articles about people who might be gay or not gay, watching three minute comedy videos and news clips. 2. Quarrelling I read things and my body crunches up.. people posting stupidness and I am itching to reply. I actually compose replies when doing other tasks and then get distracted from the tasks. I realise that I am getting more crunch ups than relaxation from laughing. 3. Fastness I am indulging and overindulging in creeping and being fast. I am glad I still not creeping my loved ones. However, I then come across pictures of a teacher from 35 years ago. She laughs. She used to be grim, never smiled. Her back was straight, always straight. Her back is still straight. And she laughs apparently. She is no longer in Guyana, so maybe that is why. ...

Dance (II)Henry Matisse - http://www.wikiart.org/en/henri-matisse/dance-ii-1910 Wake up this morning and there is a Facebook message from a man who is reading a lot of Bra inpickings on Art as Therapy I skimmed the article and was drawn to the dancers in the blue and green painting. According to the philosophers,s"The dancers in Matisse’s painting are not in denial of the troubles of this planet, but from the standpoint of our imperfect and conflicted — but ordinary — relationship with reality, we can look to their attitude for encouragement. They put us in touch with a blithe, carefree part of ourselves that can help us cope with inevitable rejections and humiliations."  I had never seen the painting before. This evening, Moray House Trust hosted a talk by artist Dennis De Cairies. Mr DeCairies highlighted some of the artists and paintings which impressed him. I was surprised to see Dances II again. He said the artist is one of his favourites. The pai...

   Moving and walking slowly as effort is needed to move and remembering when I used to counter every movement to be still and rest with fighting up and getting gone. Intense heat and humidity the last few days and then heavy rain drops come down. I am on an errand. There is shelter. The rain is not cooling as such, place is hot. Other people sheltering , but I am walking in it , slowly too to enjoy. But the drops are heavy and I look up and feel them on the face. It is nice to feel.  Rain stops though. And I pick up a thing which can't get wet in the rain. And then the rain pours down and I think, heck.. look the thing is in plastic, but then the plastic has a hole and I will  jump in a bus which might not take a soaked passenger who not only soaked but who decide to tek wet when there was shelter. So, half wet I come back. As the sun heats up again, I choose not to curse the fate that says I could not walk in the nice pouring rain, but be ...

Two people said the film was not all ah duh, and one said, but is a pictchuh fuh see.. Place is hot hot and the cinema fare to enjoy like air conditioning was available. Mohenjo Daro is a 2016 film imagined from the ancient city of Mohenjo Daro. It already get cuss for its lack of historical accuracy  , but ow man come on is Bollywood.. why would anyone expect anything to be real and accurate? (Which is why I get frikened when people get caught up in Bollywood weddings and I hope and pray that they last longer than the movies do) Hrithik Roshan walking around, though like he getting lil stiff up now, muscles and all. The star girl is a new one, but well.. she is not Kajol. The camera shots are beautiful and there are some interesting effects. Hey, like when our star bai takes long to kill a massive crocodile. The villains are all dark skinned, as bollywood does. Recently, we had a discussion about dark skinned villains when some youth did a skit in which the villain ...

By Vidyaratha Kissoon Briana, not her real name, believes that ‘CXC is not for her”. Briana, not her real name, talks about not being picked to write CXC while in the care of the Government of Guyana. ““I go to school up to form 4 (Grade 10)… then I went to Sophia (Training School) and I do cosmetology… I ent write CXC… well everybody don’t write CXC at that school, the teachers them does pick who gon write and who not gon write when you reach Form 4 (Grade 10) and they didn’t pick me… I ent really feel no way that them ent pic me … mostly children from the children home don’t write CXC. Remember now CXC is not for everybody… we does , mostly go to high school up to a point and then go to Sophia Training School and learn a trade”.” This story is in the report, An Analysis of the Nature and Extent of Institutionalization of Children in Guyana (May 2016) which was produced by ChildLink and other partners. The nation learned of the murders of 14 year ...

No warning signs really of how the night would be bad. Body needs rest, relaxation and mind needs blankness for a while to recover for work to be done. Maybe the moon is disrupting things. But.. sweating, tossing and turning, dreams of things, the fan spinning creating noise for more dreams, turning on the fan, turning it off, turning it on again.. Impotence when potence would have brought some comfort that okay, things are okay at least in some way.. Waking up though.. because the work still has to be done even though waking up feeling as bad or worse than when I went to sleep.. Thanks for the loved one who called on the way home late.."Go and sleep , your voice sounds like you wan dead".. and my reply instead of 'no, is my sexy bed half wake voice dat you used to like hearing' .. is mumbling something about if I doan want talk to you I would tell you..  Thanks for the opportunity for the work done and I know I am worried about the youth who might have w...

Body crying out for serotonin and the thought to try to do one of the exercises which used to help. Stumbled though as the body was off balance and there was a pain where none existed before. Clouds heavy, and communications are difficult. Words are not forming well.Moon is full this week and maybe that is the reason. Stumbling over communication with a loved one who I had promised never to initiate communication with again and to keep my distance.  Stumbling over realising I should hold off because words now don't form well and they could create problems. Stumbling over an intervention which did not work before but trying again and it still is not working. Stumbling over the work which is out of my control and which is not finishing. Stumbling over eating a whole set of sweet and thinking it would help, it did not.. stumbling over eating chips to get crunch but the chips were not enough and forgetting that the best thing is to manage the desire to crunch and to calm d...

Dear President Granger and members of the Central Executive Committee of the PNCR, Thank you for the beautiful invitation to the opening of the 19th Biennial Congress. I know I should politely and quietly RSVP. But the PNCR is in power. I am terrified of how the PPP and PNC have dominated politics in Guyana, and dominated the consciousness of Guyanese. I have seen how party paramountcy has contributed to the destruction of Guyana's potential. I do not have the spiritual or mental fortitude required to participate in any rituals which nurture that paramountcy. I have hopes though for the 19th Biennial Congress of the PNCR. A Child Protection Policy for the PNCR The PNCR might not be aware that I am one of a group of Guyanese who have called for the replacement of Minister Volda Lawrence as Minister of Social Protection. Minister Lawrence endorsed a candidate for the local government elections who faced unresolved allegations of child sexual abuse. The candidat...

Feel the white flour and the brown flour and baking powder with the fingers. Lift the flower in the  basin and feel it in the tips and for the moment shift the mind away from the other pains.  Rub the margarine in until it is fine crumbs. It is easy to slip back the mind and do it mindlessly, but I think if I focus and throw good energy there is hope that the dough would mix good and everything would come out arite. Now for the water.. take the hands.. turn the hands around. Shift the body and watch what is happening. Don't move the eyes away and let thoughts wander and think of anything else. Let the fingers do the thinking if the dark clouds are too heavy and you can't imagine anything else. If you find yourself stopping, come back. Don't worry about the work madness or the other things. There is a certain time to finish kneading to let it rise. Don't worry that you can't make them round, and the anxiety of which ones would swell or which ones woul...

by Vidyaratha Kissoon Hot Friday afternoon . A man is walking towards me, smile on his face. He is tall, about my height, brownish hair blowing and wearing glasses. I think I am looking in a mirror – man is thinner but walking quickly though not purposefully – much like how I walk. He sees me looking at the sign board for the Mental Health Institute. “Like yuh looking fuh a wuk? … Dis is de place yuh does guh when yuh head aint good and dem gun find a wuk fuh yuh.. is de occupational health place”. He walked fast past me, and I said .’oh, oh. You ever went in here?” and he said “nah.. “ I had just been at the Guyana Revenue Authority to render unto Caesar what was Caesar’s. The visit was interesting – two men in shorts, women in sleeveless and straps and so. The security guards seemed relaxed and not so tense up like the last time I visited. I think they must be relieved at not having to do the dress code thing any more and just focus on w...

Dear 35 year old me, You are going to be horrified that a time would even come when you would contemplate stupidness like writing a letter back to your self. You are busy and active, you have survived a crisis and you don't spend too much time looking back but looking forward. That is a good thing. Take some time though from that busyness to check your body and see how the running and exercising are impacting on it.  You will have to find other ways of coping with your  mental health issues and at times , things will seem worse. You will see indications that people will surprise you. Some people will rise above your expectations, others will behave as you expected and others will horrify and disappoint you. You will probably do the same to other people never mind that is not your intention. That crisis you survived will manifest again, and again, and it will impact on you forever. The things you think you are investing in for self care will not come through, so you...

by Vidyaratha Kissoon A frustrated Burnham lover said that his Minister friend told him that “some of de public servants like is only now dey seeing wuk.” I remember another Minister in another time making similar claims. Easy to blame the public servants when politicians have to get down to real wuk. Last week, the meditation on the Office of the Prime Minister extended to the other ministers. The Coil lights up this week on the news that the Minster of Social Cohesion Amna Ally has gotten i nvolved in the Region 5 janjhat . The meditation continues. Hon. Noel Holder,  Minister of Agriculture Lamaha Street near Camp Street, and the traffic is heavy. A man with a set of chips on his cart is pushing through. He says he has all kinds. The Breadfruit chips are thin, almost transparent. The chips crumbled nicely , no harm done to teeth and gums. I am annoyed that I did not take the man’s name on the cart and find out his location. I didn’...