Thoughts of a minibus traveller

The inclusion of Soca Monarch Jumpo in the Chutney thing has generated all sorts of interest and the Presidential Hopefuls and other stakeholders have had no choice but to reflect on this latest issue of critical importance to the people. Not only is Jumpo is a likely winner, but Jumpo is not your regular Indo or Afro or Whato- Guyanese. From the only decent political party fit to govern.. Candidate 1 : noted that the Chutney competition monarch should be decided by secret ballot and that the constitution for the chutney competition should be carefully read. Other chutney singers might not want to agree with the secret ballot , but you cannot judge the singer by the number of boos, waves, bottles pelted or illegal copies played on the music carts. Candidate 2 : asked to see the question in writing first 'What do you think of the Chutney competitors and Chuntney this year ' and said that he likes sweet mango chutney with his cornflakes since it improves his bowel movement...

The woman sitting next to me in the front seat wanted Bhena's on Regent Street.  The bus stopped at the traffic light, not the bus stop  There was a police outrider. The driver told the woman that she could come out here. The woman mek a quick dash out.  I say whah.. look de police.. the driver wink at me. He said.. oh.. he has no control over the passenger. The driver said.. once is not the conductor opening the door. He said the law have plenty loophole, that is why they have lawyer to find the loophole. I mutter something about how man mek law an' man not perfeck. The front seat is a nice kind of place to do contemplation away from the humanity in the back. You could gaff with the driver if you want especially if he bored because he doan have nobody to talk to. The front seat means you  have to use the seatbelt. I don't like the feeling of being restrained. The seatbelt though is a great equalizer of humanity. The scent of the sweat, cologne, other bodily things...

Comrades, well wishers, and those who should not be concerned about our internal business In pursuit of that western imperialist notion of democracy , we  have come to a resolution, not unlike the Demerara cricket people, to have more than one poll for Supreme Leader in more than one place. You see, when this party was planned, we never thought we would need to use the constitution. We thought that the leadership would have been handed down from one person to the other and all comrades would accept the decisions of the supreme leaders. These days, the evils of television have resulted in us having to actually read the constitution and sort out things because Father and Mother never left a position which we agreed. well Mother left a baby who keep throwing tantrums so we have to throw the baby out with the bath water this time. So, due to these circumstances and  the fact that the opposition party making us look stupid.. we said right, we will have two ballots - one ...

Superstition says different things about the moon and moon light and the full moon and the last few days I wondered if the position of the moon and planets influenced the way in which my mental health was fluctuating. There were the low feelings, the urges to eat, the restlessness, inability to concentrate and the bursts of energy which  had no creative outlet and feeling bad about not being able to produce at a rate which I thought was reasonable. A blasted cold made deep breathing a bit more difficult and the compulsive eating of nuts, plaintain chips, crackers made the body feel heavier  - the sugar level was probably higher. This quirky cartoon articles in the Guardian about meditation talk about how important it is to detach from the mind and understand what is going on. The analogy - instead of feeling that you are in the middle of a road where the thoughts are like cars rushing at you from all directions and that you cannot move, step aside and watch the flow of the t...

Comrades, well those of you who would bother with me.. Since we last spoke, I have made sure that I did not go anywhere near any pastures so no goat aint bite me foot. In fact, I have a security detail to ensure that no goats come near me.. and I also keep my foot safe, especially when I go near cabinet... but nobody notices me there anyways.. And I am thankful that the supreme leaders did not put me in agriculture, because it seem that goat bite the man in agriculture foot and the rumours stop about he turnin' president. I have said to the party that while my suits are not Armani, and my house dont have jacuzzi as yet, that I am qualified to become president because I eat plain bland cornflakes for breakfast. My hair is also receding so nobody could be bothered with to see from hair what my race is. This I think is neutral.. some people who eat provisions and bread, others eat roti and curry.. well I eat cornflakes. This is because I have the right mix up DNA to be the Presi...

Travel writing is always interesting and entertaining - whether they be 'erudite' books like In Xanadu or blogs of VSOs and Peace Corps volunteers who are saving the world - it is always good to see what people think about a place and the people in it as they pass through. I remember a VSO telling me after I commented on the disparaging remarks about some Guyanese places in their Guyana travel guide.. "the guide was not meant for everyone, only the VSOs.." Dalrymple is 22 years old when he sets out with the blessing (and some funding?) from his University to follow Marco Polo's trail from the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem to Kubla Khan's Palace in Mongolia. The book covers the journey, places he visited and all the people he meets. It is telling  that the thanks he offers at the beginning of the book, include the two women he travelled with, but no gratitude to the wonderful characters he meets along the way who enliven the book. Dalrymple follows the style...

Comrades, comrades, comrades I am gonna have to talk some more because people are talking all kinds of nonsense which I am gonna have to deal with now before I go on my next trip. First, to be clear, There will be no third term for me.. none, zilch.. no third term. I told my supporters and my friends and the enemies who pretend to be my friends that I do not want a third term.. in fact I never wanted a first or second term but they made me do it because there was no one else, they made me do it, do you think it is fun to have your life under scrutiny and have people cuss you up and then you have to cuss them up back, so I am gonna build me a house and I am gonna be gone before the end of 2011 unless they make me stay on for a longer second term.. Who is they, ,you ask.. well, I know.. I am fed up with this opposition thing, and now some people are behaving as though I am part of the opposition.. NO, I did not throw that channa to fight fire with fire or to send messages to so...

 There has been a lot of death in Guyana this week. I went to a funeral - a celebration though of an extraordinary life of a woman who her daughter said did not fear death. Other people though, were killed in violent ways. Grenade, domestic violence, bandit violence. Surviving and Thriving in Guyana in 2011 would require great physical, mental and spiritual strength. The economy is doing well we hear, gold has exceeded its target 'despite' its challenges' Gold though does not mean that children can read and write or get food to go to school in many places. Things are tense. The work plan this year is not going to have to change.. some problems are escalating beyond our expectations, and the 'elections' tension means that every thing has to be put in such a way that takes into account its sudden cancellation or postponement.  Liquor companies have further reach than social services.  Some of the colleagues I work with are burnt out or are running on energies which...