Cornflakes DNA

Comrades, well those of you who would bother with me..

Since we last spoke, I have made sure that I did not go anywhere near any pastures so no goat aint bite me foot. In fact, I have a security detail to ensure that no goats come near me.. and I also keep my foot safe, especially when I go near cabinet... but nobody notices me there anyways.. And I am thankful that the supreme leaders did not put me in agriculture, because it seem that goat bite the man in agriculture foot and the rumours stop about he turnin' president.

I have said to the party that while my suits are not Armani, and my house dont have jacuzzi as yet, that I am qualified to become president because I eat plain bland cornflakes for breakfast. My hair is also receding so nobody could be bothered with to see from hair what my race is.

This I think is neutral.. some people who eat provisions and bread, others eat roti and curry.. well I eat cornflakes. This is because I have the right mix up DNA to be the President.. well I am not a woman nor do I have portuguese as far as I know.. so I plan to link up with a portuguese woman to be my running candidate and then we will represent everyone in Guyana.

I do not think is necessary to go to University to be President.. all the previous Presidents have been to University and now I believe it is a time for change and to be future thinking. As you know, the school system has been producing thousands whose education and whose literacy is in at a level with our development strategy.  Future voters will look for a man like them, so that is another reason why I have indicated my interest.

I also took this difficult Minister position because I know nobody likes the po-po and that makes me popular since everybody at least knows my name even if they are cursing me, so I have no problem with other comrades going along with our Most Most Supreme Leader on his visits, we believe in a level playing field for everybody in our party to gain popularity.

I do not have interest in internet  and stuff like that, so please keep asking me from time to time as to what is happening with my proposal to be president. I am humbly awaiting my comrades decision' and I will accept it, as long as they do not ask me to stop eating cornflakes for breakfast or to change my DNA.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turpentine mango madness

Image
Some of the mango was stuck on the stubble around my mouth. I looked at the mirror, a bit of shame because I had just collected an invitation from a well dressed guy and I wonder how I must have looked to him.. look at dis big man .. he cyan eat mango good . Thing is.. wiping off mango from stubble is difficult.. and the casual swipe with a hand which might have some juice is also useless. The turpentine mango is useless when it is green - it tastes awful, like turpentine.  Mother Nature works a miracle because the ripe one though, is sweet, juicy, no strings and no turpentine taste. And the colours on the skins are bright yellow/orange/pink/purple/red shades that are probably meant to draw all species of mango lovers. The trouble with turpentine is that you cannot pick it green or 'turnin' ' to ripen like say how they do it with Spice mangoes.  You have to leave on the tree until there is some point.. when there is no taste of turpentine. So you look at the m
Read more

Re-writing Irfaan Ali's disgraceful statement after accepting his comrade's resignation

Image
  (President Irfaan Ali made a Facebook post in which he accepted the resignation of his comrade Nigel Dharmlall from the Cabinet and the Party. This is an imaginary rewriting of that statement) Fellow Guyanese, as you’re aware, I am in Trinidad and Tobago attending the 45th session of the Heads of Government meeting of CARICOM and the 50th anniversary of CARICOM.  Tonight I want to address you in relation to the allegation that was made multiple allegations of rape and sexual violence which have been made against Minister Nigel Dharamlall.  From the inception, I advised the population that I would allow the system to work.   I would never and the government would never intervene in the system. We’ve allowed an independent investigation; the minister proceeded on leave to ensure that an independent investigation was conducted. I recognise that many survivors of rape and other forms of gender-based violence do not trust the system to work because it has failed many times.  I ad
Read more

My experience with depression - Dr Raquel Thomas-Caesar

Image
(The University of Guyana held Turkeyne & Tain Talks 2 on Monday 12 September, 2016 on Suicide Prevention . Dr Raquel Thomas-Caesar made a presentation based on her experience. This is the text of the presentation) by Raquel Thomas-Caesar I am not an expert on the issue of Suicide and Depression but this is my personal journey dealing with such issues. I have never spoken publicly about this at such a forum and I hope that it serves to help others even if only a small way- Dr Raquel Thomas-Caesar South East London,  June 9, 1995 As I sit under the tree, hidden from all eyes…I wait….to go. I wait to die. Then it hits me…OMG. I really don’t want to die. What have I done? My head is swinging, fuzzy, I can hardly walk. But I barely make it up and up the hill…I see two young black men in the distance…they come towards me, I could only imagine they thought I was on drugs..I beg for help. My Angels.  I wake up in the hospital. This was me- 21 years ago.  In a foreign land, drea
Read more