Thoughts of a minibus traveller

Dear moon on 21st June, The humidity and the heat are bearable even though it is rainy season and I am using the fan for the first time this year. They say today is the longest day of the year, before the days shorten and I wondered why I was feeling like the nights were not long enough when I saw you in the sky opposite the bright sun. For the first time this year too, I seem to have lost my battle with you as I start feeling as though I don't want to move or do anything and that the dark blanket which presses on my mind is not moving.  Something is wrong this time moon , as the body pain is intense.. turning in bed to get up and the pain in the back pushes me onto the bed rather than off the bed, and the jaws and teeth are tense and sensitive from grinding and clenching all night. I know that the teeth are slowly pushing back, over riding and that while expensive teeth work will be reqired.. I want to keep the money to have some nice experiences , to hell with the teeth....

Rain is set up and I stand up on the roadside pushing my hand and finger in a southward direction.. It looks kind of mad to any person to mars but actually this is the sign to tell the oncoming bus that you want to go on the Railway Line.  I don't trust the communication though and I always ask for confirmation.. Rain is drizzling now and bus stops.. 'You going on de line' I ask as the conductor opens the door. "You aint see de driver stap, is why you tink he stap?" the conductor asked while the woman hugging him up almost look at me with a kind of eye like I mussee stupid, while also looking kind of lil shame at the conductor rudeness. I jump in the bus and shoutl Thank you sir, and morning everybody and I notice driver smiling lil bit. I say.. I does ask, because I know finger jukking might mean different thing for everybody and I try to sound calm and nice and not start a story because rain started falling and I wasn't feeling so principled that ...

A week of reported deaths by suicide and well meaning people are affirming their ways of support and trying to be positive and to show love to people. I learned as I dealt with my own mental health issues and also offered support that 'doing love' is a different thing from saying 'I love you, God loves you, in case you think of killing yourself, think of all the people who love you, Prayers help, Let me pray for you" .. Here is some ways of #doinglove which has worked for me and I think for others I have been in contact with who have been in need of support of one form or another.. #doinglove is the woman with the disability who reaches out to the man without any disabilities and who listens to him and who laughs with him and then never reminds him or makes him feel obligated or posts anything on facebook about how she been doing love.. #doinglove is about empathy, it is about the level of the person in crisis, accepting that they have valid feelings, commun...

Mae's Schools has reportedly issued an apology after to a child and his family, days after denying they discriminated against an indigenous child. There was an important process which started with protests from the parents and allies of the child, and a recognition of the government agencies and an attempt to facilitate a meeting. I have relatives who have attended Mae's schools and their families have been satisfied by the education and care they received.  There is an ongoing issue with Mae's in the community I live. "Saying sorry" is easy to do, which is why I don't accept apologies and why I am reluctant to give them.  When I regret my actions, I try to recognise the feelings of other persons and to agree on redemptive action. I have learned to do this after listening to people say sorry to me without meaning it, and repeating things. One person apologises even after I have insisted that I do not want any apologies, just for us to work things out...

Still from Bad Lucky Goat Rita from Providencia , Colombia shouts to her brother to "Dash away de head" in an accent sounds almost Guyanese , the head being the head of the goat which Rita and her brother had killed earlier. They are in a boat on the sea whose engine fails. He dashes away the head. The goat then appears to them in all his glory as they head back to the beach. Goats and devils are common. Maria Govan's beautifully filmed "visually stunning [cliches have their use]" Play the Devi  has a stupid ending that makes the film perfect for religious groups who want to talk about the dangers of rich homosexuals, homosexuality and carnival. But the ending is forgiven because the film is so damned beautiful. The devil seems at work as it is hard not to laugh as two men in Kafou drive to a ravine in Haiti to dispose of a dead body as the radio plays early morning hymns and greetings, and a policeman/thug discusses his dilemma of getting rid of kidnapp...

Shot from Tezen on Shirleybruno.com "That is how de UN bring cholera to Haiti" the man in front of me said as we watched the woman dip water from the river in the forest to fill her bucket. Beautiful shots  of the forest, river and of the woman singing to the spirit-fish in the river who has promised pure clean water to her. The director Shirley Bruno took a Haitian tale and recreated it in the modern day as Tezen Kaieteur Falls (Kàyik Tùwùk  in Patamona ) is in Gavin Mendonca's How to build a tree house./  The music video is  one of Gavin Mendonca's powerful works which seeks to talk about  Guyana and in using Guyanese music and culture. I hope one day he will do something with tassa drums. The music video connects the Patamona to Kaieteur Falls in a way which is not seen in any other representation. In 2017, the government charged some Amerindians for illegal mining and then dropped the charges .  There are some shots of Kaieteur (at some point...