Thoughts of a minibus traveller

I survived again.. came through and now the familiar feeling of tiredness which is from passing through, fighting and then the feeling of knowing that regardless of what, as the friend had told me, the periods of depression will end. It is difficult though to believe, kind of like when you have a headache.. you tend to forget what life is like without the headache. And so it is.. when you crave the cool dark room to lie down and just be.. that there will be a time when you will not crave that cool dark room. That when you stare at the screen and the blank documents, that you cannot type anything meaningful, that a time will come when you will. That the phone calls have to be postponed. The deadlines have to be postponed because I knew I will come through just that it will take time. So the cold maybe, other triggers and then I make a concerted effort to go on the seawall.. to increase the movement, to resist the sweet while just indulging in it and then eventually.. lying down and ...

The man ask on his Facebook " Soliciting thoughts on what Khalil meant by "comfort" in the quote "Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning in the funeral." — Khalil Gibran (The Prophet)" and I fall into the trap when I should be doing some difficult work related to earning money so that I could have this thing called comfort. Another friend shared this TED Talk http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html on vulnerability .   Last night on the seawall, another friend talked about wanting to come back to Guyana.. she happy to be here and to find the opportunities never mind the crap which make us uncomfortable. Comfort for me is scary.. it brings up memories of comfort zones, of adjusting to the environment, of becoming comfortable and then forgetting that things could change. I remember thinking of how I sat in this nice chair in my office at GuySuCo and thinking how nice it was.. how I ad...

The man on Facebook asked a question which I have been asking myself " why do you write/blog? And to which public is your work directed to ? To a select few or free access to the general population ?" When I first started, I had written Not another blog - and said that  " I am nervous about this blogging thing. I do not read many other blogs but I like browsing some of them.  Some people have liked the thinkg I have written, others have said I need to learn how to write while others have called the things nonsense. The feedback is good. I am blogging too because I want to be able to write and to practice writing and to be coherent. Writing is a good way to settle and organise thoughts." Two years later though, I am thinking of what this blogging has done. I have a far away to go to write 'well' and many times the coherence is an issue. One woman did tell me that I should write, then wait, then publish - so as to ensure that the thoughts are orga...

A man called 6'o clock one morning and said he had my number written down - he was not sure why. As we chatted, he said "oh yes, you are on FB.. I took down your contact details" Another man started chatting with me on FB  thinking I was a nice hot woman.  I referred him to my photos if he so sure he in love with me, he started saying he gun find me and kill me and so on because he and his friends like to beat up "faggots". I joined up Facebook on a whim in 2008 and I have been hooked . I can live without it but life would not have been the same without it. I haven't seen the film as yet. Friends Of the 800 friends or so I have on FB, I do not know 75% of them- which is I guess is like in real life where I have hugged up and kissed people who name I do not know or who I forgot where we met.. but is nice to connect anyway. Better that than we kiss rather than we cuss up each other.   I keep my friends list open since I believe in freedom of associa...

One of the things about working from home is that there is a need to have alternative places of meeting for various reasons. I don't like rumshops and some places which have too loud music don't work. Kudos to the people in Guyana who have decided to open coffeeshops/cafes which provide different kinds of venues for people to sit and gaff. I am not a connoisseur of coffee or cake and I go more for the atmosphere than for the taste of anything. Campsite Campsite at the corner of Camp Street and South road is a good meeting place for me.. I like the location, near two minibus routes and there is this open plan and bright light which means nobody can hide. For me it has been the place to see and be seen. SASOD has its trustee meeting there.. and there is something about sitting down in a meeting and peoplewatching.. seeing who passing, who coming in.. and at Campsite.. President, President in waiting, beggar man, sane person, not so sane person all come in. Some peopl...

My favourite part of the Ramayana is in the Aranya Kanda (Chaupaii 35,36) where Lord Rama dialogs with Shabari on the nine forms of devotion or  "navadhå bhagati" Over the last two weeks, we have sung this part twice and maybe because of old age , I started to wonder how I measuring up on them. Listen, O good lady, to My words I recognize no other kinship except that of Devotion. Despite caste, kinship, lineage, piety, reputation, wealth, physical strength, numerical strength of his family, accomplishments and ability, a man lacking in Devotion is of no more worth than a cloud without water. Now I tell you the nine forms of Devotion; please listen attentively and cherish them in your mind. The first in order is fellowship with the saints .. There are traditions of how saints are formed, and this saint thing has to happen two ways.. the followers recognise the saints, and the saints are descended from lineages of spiritual tradition. I know one or two saints.. and on ...

The lady asked the bus to pause at the church to pick up her son. I asked her if she goes to that church, she says No, she goes to one of the Assemblies of God. We get to talking about people we know.. she asks if I go to Newtown. I say no, I am Hindu. She then says that I can still convert. I ask her.. why would I convert, I deh good.. she says how you know? I say.. that isn't she happy with her God?I am happy with mine, I had good experiences. She ask me how i know God. I say God put me here to sit down next to her.  I say that God greater than us, we cannot know what God thinks. She say no, she knows that her God is the true God, not man made Gods.  I say what man made Gods? I say is only one God they have.  I say that she has God inside of her.. she says that the Holy Spirit is in her.. I say , yes in her and everyone.. her stop come. As she step out she say that her God is the Most High God, higher than the other Gods...which are moulded by man. We smiling all t...

Comrades, Many of you have not heard me speak because I have been overshadowed by my soon to be predecessor.. well okay, we dont know when he willl become my predecessor./ But people are saying that I am the best-suited presidential candidate. Comrades, that is an insult to me. I have taken pains to wear my red shirt.. everywhere.. may day rally, congress, martyr memorial, other memorial, everywhere.. i have short sleeve red-shirt, long sleeve red shirt. I do not wear suits.. how can I be the best-suited candidate? I have thought about making a red kurta but i understand that might send the wrong message to some people, so I will wear a white kurta and have a mala with red flowers. Comrades.. in the rum shop, out of the rum shop, in your prados, in your donkey carts, in your palaces, in your shacks.. No person who claims to walk in the grass roots can do so in a suit..burra burra and razor grass will damage the suit. I cannot afford as yet to have to get a new suit every time I ...