Thoughts of a minibus traveller

  "I put myself in the centre of the flower, because I know I have to care for myself before worrying about others.." the woman said.  "Healing through understanding self"was the theme of the sixth conversation about preventing domestic violence. The conversation was held virtually on Thursday 27 August, 2020. The conversation was led by Dr Janice M Jackson. The moderator was Carlotta Boodie-Walcott. We were talking about the flower exercise. The flower exercise is one of the self-analysis tools which were shared by Dr Jackson . These notes reflect some of the thoughts shared in the conversation.  "Dim the noises in your head, unclutter your mind of all the expectations" We talked about the different  messages which come from different places, and how the negative messages are heard more often then positive ones. One woman shared " Sometimes highlighting the positives are seen as exalting oneself and therefore it affects your ability to share the...

      Hot Saturday afternoon.  Moon is moving, dark clouds hovering over my capacity to do major tasks. I decide to make a pilgrimage to a new painting which is sometimes covered by the sea. Moving off from liking the virtual Facebook posts , to seeing the thing in real life when I don't really feel like going anywhere. Professor Vibert Cambridge initiates a discussion about a CARIFESTA 2022. A woman messaged me about  diversity in an event she was organising. A writer messaged me about writing a letter to restart the Guyana Prize for Literature , to figure out a way to stimulate more writing opportunities and exposure for writers in Guyana. A diaspora poet invites me to participate in an interesting poetry project which would have involved me writing a poem - I declined as I aint a poems man. I worry that I am an impostor and poseur getting asked into things which I only do as 'like' and 'not like'.   A young economist who plays dholak and sings chow...

      Morning after a good night for a change. Expectations, anxieties. All of a sudden again, multiple assignments, deadlines.    Do the morning rituals, the prayers.  Do them not so deeply though, but do them as rituals. I pray for wisdom. I don't worry to pray for anything really because well that is not how prayers work. Come on Facebook. No messages from the impossible love.  Felt the twinge of sadness, then laughing.  yeah.. you is a big man now, you know this game. And you know.. you  know.. be grateful.. no matter how worthy the object of love.. the spontaneous shared vulnerability "i need your help to get me through this difficult moment / phase" .. that came from a place of in this moment, accessing your listening skills, your unconditional affirmations, your being far away.. and not your desirability or skills at foreplay or potential for orgasms.. Come on Facebook. Clicking around.... come to the article about Nubya Garcia.  ...

    Candice Ramessar led a conversation about home schooling in Guyana. The conversation was on 15 August, 2020.    There was a lot of discussion about education, education and the economy, credentials, getting a job, about the learning styles, the oppression in the current system, the need for varieties of testing such as oral and other non-written methods, how to bypass the system, and that home schooling should not be seen as a way out of changing a systemic problem related to schooling for a progressive society which values all human beings.   These are some of the things I learned from the conversation, noted from a presentation which Candice also shared.   What is homeschooling ?   Home schooling or home education is NOT bringing the school home and trying to replicate the school system in your house.  The definition which was shared is "is the education of children at home, typically by parents or by tutors, rather than in other formal sett...

 Managing expectations "You have to manage your expectations.. "the man from Canada said.  'Understand that somethings take longer' .  I know.. I tend to have zero expectations too of OBGs returning and holidaying generally but I am guilty of stereotyping. I avoid conversations about OBGs and Guyana because, well, there are so many other things to worry about that priorities have to be made. And I know that there is this thing about the ungrateful set of us who receive barrel and so or remittances , and then we don't pay enough homage to the sacrifice and labour and so. We were in the virtual Groundings organised by Sherlina , Dr Wazir Mohammed, Professor Vibert Cambridge and me to talk about Diaspora connections and looking at the love/not love relationships. Alissa Trotz in the first In the Diaspora c olumn had described some of the complexities of Overseas Guyanese and local Guyanese.   Marlon James wrote in the Introduction to So Many Islands "Scratch t...

  Humid Saturday morning. Road is quiet, slow. Minibus comes up at nice speed. Driver no mask. Young woman in front seat, two women in back seat. All wearing masks. I say 'morning' . Some masked mornings and Driver's unmasked morning in reply. Young man stops the bus.  Beanie covering head, and silver ring near the top of the ear. No mask. I wonder if he is anti-masker. But I don't pollute the bus by asking. Driver asks us if we know the location of a school. "Dis girl got directions for a short way to the school but I aint understand it..anybody know is where?".. Nobody knows really..masked mutterings. He asks someone on the road. Women behind him says from behind her mask "you gotta walk the long way to learn the short way".. Young woman comes out the bus to go to learn the short way from the long way. I feel a bit bad for us old people preaching from behind the masks. Town is busy.  Go in a store , get an item. Saw the sign "Wanted Handy Bo...

  Dreaming in these Covid times could help after the nightmare of waiting for Elections 2020 to be concluded , and nightmare of the continued Jagdeo leadership of Guyana. Dreams are good to write down .  To remember dreams instead of reliving the madness as people in their own coping ways try to sanitize some of the people who were voted out in 2015 as they come back in 2020, sanitised also with the cover of niceness and newness.. but while we know that niceness and newness can co-exist with the ugliness, that in the end.. the ugliness overwhelms. So inhaling some of the same sanitiser , remembering dreams instead of nightmares..  Guyanese will stop beating children. Teachers will not beat children in schools.   The Minister of Education will sanitise the teachers and parents who want to beat children before opening back Covid. Those who want to keep beating children can go and work in the Oil and Gas industries or emerging hemp industry after marijuana is decri...

Thursday 30th July, 2020 "Aye come down, come down.. me ah come around" the woman cheerfully calls out to me from the road two houses away. I am on the back step landing, and I get ready to comply. She is on her mostly weekly visit, day before the holiday weekend though to collect her dues. She has lung problems, asthma - "but big hospital nah look after me, one tall bai like you pay 3,500 fuh me go a Eureka' .  65 this year, so she collects pension - 'me had to spend am pun daktah' Son with a disability, uncertain housing, grand children whose father killed their mother, she walks, begs, 'wan wan people give me a wuk'.. always asks for extra for various reasons. I am afraid that she will get Covid, that she will get robbed of her pension, that she will get kicked out of her house and have nowhere to go. I am afraid that I can't do anything for her except give her money every week. Same day as she comes, soon after. 'Uncle uncle'.. the po...

"Healing through understanding self" was the theme of the fifth conversation about preventing domestic violence. The conversation was held virtually on Thursday 30 July, 2020. The conversation was led by Dr Janice M Jackson. The moderator was Carlotta Boodie-Walcott. The participants joined from different parts of Guyana, and from outside of Guyana. These notes reflect some of the experiences and lessons shared in the conversation. Loving thy neighbour as thy self and Selfishness "We are taught that we have to look after others first in the families", "That's me , I have to work on my personal self care. I am guilty of putting others first" , "People think it is selfish if you try to say 'no' if you can't do something for them" "We should understand that saying about loving thy neighbour, that you can't love your neighbour unless you love yourself in a healthy way" We discussed how our ideas of w...