Thoughts of a minibus traveller

Lesson 1 : You can learn from those who you have problems with The man told me that he had been eating a lil bit of steamed carilla with his food, and his sugar levels have been low. The man and I have had problems. The carilla conversation is a distraction from the deep and meaningful conversation we are not having. So there might be useful tips to share when  you talking to people who you want to quarrel with.  I think about this as I observe that there are low sugar levels, day after I had to eat some karela rather than throw it away. I don't want to waste food, even food I don't like. Lesson 2 :  Try something new especially when you are feeling exhausted I am exhausted, the fatigue is settling in. Sleepless nights, the tension with various people.  There is something now which says you have to restore , or recover. Do the things which you have not done before, find back the spirit which used to explore and think. And rather than save the world, I said, a...

"I do regret meeting you.." A man I love reached out for us to meet.  Most of the the time we have known each other in tension and disagreement. and a lot of pain. There were many moments of joy and connection. The meeting started well and then went badly.  He sent a message after an exchange of bitter emails "I do regret meeting you".   I felt badly - he had taken a risk. I also regretted the meeting because I did not work on  opportunity for making some peace. In the quarreling, we forgot the things we had in common. As far as I know , both of us will not vote in 2020. We have different reasons though, but will not be voting. And we both have an interest in good governance. N on-voters as the third force from now to 2020 The elections period creates ugly divisions in Guyana. The latent racism comes up. The Government is blaming PPP supporters for not implementing the Government's agenda.   They say nothing  of their own supporters who ...

The loved one and I faced each other , the tension there, which would erupt later into a toxic parting. We talked, smiled and sometimes laughed at things said, forgetting the tension. We knew what would make us laugh together. It wasn't enough though for us to sustain the connection between us.  but the moments of shared smiles and laughter have helped to make the necessary parting easier. It is easy to forget and not be mindful of the laughter when there is a lot of pain and suffering and disappointment around. The woman says she wants to talk to me about her depression. I tell her up front that I can't listen because of my head is in the wrongplace. I call though to discuss other places and so. And we laugh together during the talk , and mek joke about the depression and so. The man has pains and is feeling depressed. His primary caregiver is resentful and surly and there is nothing for them to laugh about together.    He chats with a relative, they laugh a...

Dear fern.. You are beautiful. I had taken you for granted. I remember the year when I realised that I had to look after you. You were hanging baskets requiring the attention of a man who could no longer give you attention. The year that I decided that I will try to take care of you, it is the year that I got the first email with the subject line 'Apology' from someone who I fell in love with but with whom there was no friendship or relationship. So I remember, that I will take you down. I remember wondering if you would survive with my clumsy attempts because I know there is special care needed in terms of watering, nurturing and pruning. And I was in no frame of mind to look after you. But when the rains came, and you bloomed.  I put some fertiliser on you. The loved one and I never managed to sustain any decent connection. There were always problems. There were always times of talking and I hoped reconciliation. I noticed that after this dry season, that it se...

The day is rough, after a period of goodish days. I had forgotten, that there are no guarantees of how days in which I could think and plan and feel that I could make it, could then be followed by a day or days in which it is difficult to even move.  And stepping back requires managing and getting through, doing things which were not planned and not doing things which were planned. 1. Looking at random things. The bougainvillea is in a pot.  It has been there for about 20 years. It hasn't grown much. It hasn't really been pruned. Many times I think it is dead, the twigs are bare. And then it blooms, with white flowers, sometimes with green leaves. I am never sure where the nurturing comes from. Something though, that the dried up dead looking branch could still bear flowers. Reminder of resilience, until of course, it will no longer bear white flowers. 2. Stopping and resuming. I make a mess out of one of the nursing duties. It means bringing the mind back to the pre...