Thoughts of a minibus traveller

  5am Sunday morning and nice rain and bed is warm.  Tossing and turning thinking of the challenges now and the patient who is protesting at having the early morning sponge bath, I get up and try to add energies to not make it so bad.. come back to bed and thinking of the 'cheap' tomatoes and the baigan and making the maghmour .  and not thinking of just lying down and reading or watching Hallmark Christmas movies and eating nuts and so.. because I have to get up .. It has been awhile as tomatoes have not been at the price where they can be grated and put into a sauce but rather at the price to be eaten raw and slowly .. Body feeling tense as difficult decisions had to be made and justified and trying to move instead to how to chunk up the baigan and put salt on it for a while. Write down sequence of ingredients because I could forget as I try to forget the other things which are present and immediate Too much garlic .. Slice up onions.. , chop tomatoes to grate them .. ...

    Dinner time and thinking what to eat and also thinking of the patient who does not want to eat or drink properly but whose "No' is loud still so that the intentions are clear.  Thinking of the decision and confrontations and challenges and agony over food, offerings made to a goddess which are returned. "What you doing for self care" and I think yeah,, eat, sleep , exercise and so on but I feel guilty thinking of food when the patient does not want any. So looking in the kitchen, channa, garlic, tomato, lil olive oil, salt, eschallot.. put in the food processor and the thing mash up nice and then I think.. it need a lil crisping.. so make into two cakes and put on the tawa on which I had decided to toast the bread because tawa toast different from toaster toast. The tomato didn't really crush up too much thankfully. nice and chunky. Thing start to burn and I take off and scrape the burnings. Nice smell of the garlic too which burn lil bit.  Put lil peanut but...

  Yearning for some routine task and things being normal and thinking yeah , clean house before weekend as you normally do even as you know there is no normal anymore.  Day though is broken into segments and so sweep in the morning to come back and finish later.  Cloud hovering over the city, 4pm and humidity high and some cool breeze in between.  Thunder rolling, minibus moving through traffic.  Place dark when I come home and I put on lights all over and say right .. let us resume before it get too late. finish off the other things .. as place darkens, thunder rumbles, some flashes as the place darkens  I know I can't sweep out after 6pm but I ain't ever hear I can't mop out after 6pm but still.. just in case.. let me move. Body in pain from the stress thing so thinking that the mopping and so, kind of dancing and bending and so might help if I breathe too.  Nice plan in action. Thunder, rain starts pelting down but it falling straight without bree...

   Last day of October and is that short time between day and night when it not too bright and not too dark.  Nice breeze blowing, rubbish stirring up on some parts of the pavement of the Capital city. Vendors packing up stalls, leaving some things exposed so people passing could still pick up plantain chips and other things.  Enough light to check on thinness and so as not all plantain chips crunch in my mouth these days, but dark enough so vendors don't realise that I am checking out the plantain chips.  Empty bus pulls up and driver wearing mask .I jump in front seat, hoping driver going Kitty. Hear driver say Kitty a bit louder for another passenger   Quiet oldies music playing.. oldies which were oldies since I was  a child 40 years ago, I start singing behind the mask.. driver not singing along though. Another bus another time at midday, and I sat at the back seat between a man and a woman who looked away from each other out of the opposite windo...