Bougainvillea, dog, sijan and walking when I was afraid to walk..

Walk 

Bright morning sun, lil breeze blowing and I set out to walk when I thought was not going to walk because I was afraid.

Afraid because men on bicycles have robbed me in daylight and in twilight and in places where I did not think I would be robbed.  

Afraid because men on motorcycles recently robbed two men I know in daylight walking in places where they did not think anyone would rob them and I have been thinking about that fairly empty stretch I would be walking

Afraid because the journey was to the shraad rituals of someone my age and the sickness and death stories of men and others my age and younger got me afraid.

I choose to walk though 

Bougainvillea

 I learn from listening to an online gaff with two white women in the morning that is good to imagine body as energy and exhaling good energies (or something like that). Did some breathing exercises. 

Before that the Hindu woman born in Ghana from ancestors who had moved from India had led us in Gita Chapter18 where Lord Krishna talks about surrender, and she asked what that mean.  And we had some fear and at some point I say that I will say namaste to the imaginary bandits who might want to rob me of the little I have , and that heck I might say namaste to death (but the sickness I not so sure about).

And so I walk down the road , garbage truck smells lingering but today there was an interaction which included some accountability and smiles with the one Guyanese and two migrant garbage men which were not stink like the garbage 

And eyes drawn to blooming purple bouganvillea in the yard of the woman who had told me from overseas that she miss her garden and she sure it dry up but the huge purple blooming does not like dry up or dead. And she got other plants which thriving in the heat. 

So I inhaling stink and exhaling energies and step aside to avoid big jeep from running me down while watching the other flowers thriving in the heat.

Dog
Cross road and laugh with woman who laughs and smiles a lot except when she talks about the challenges she dealing with. Her dog though, take a liking to me and I glad is not a dog that want to bite me but one that jumping on me and pushing his nose between my shins and licking my trousers and hands. I could have taken a taxi but then would not have had any dog love.

Sijan
"People come and take, but don't want leave nutting for it, I have to mould it up" man says about the sijan tree on the parapet we standing under.  And we talk - man says someone takes leaves for bhaji, he didn't know about eating it or the dry seed powder and so. 

I remember the man from China on the complex work assignment offering me two dry seeds which someone had given him.. the man had felt good about something good from Guyana as he was leaving less than two months after arriving. 

I tell the man under the tree who looks after it  about a woman who used to use the raw leaf on salad and he pick two leaf and put in his mouth and I continue walking and watching for motorbike but not being afraid.

When I pass back I think about taking something, but I don't have anything to give. 

Exhaling energies. Walking again in hot sun. Mind not on motorbike bandits but about the conversations about the other  robberies which are happening, by men who drive in big SUVs and with big security, about the robberies which cannot be spoken about.

Sun higher now, breeze blowing lil more as I walk back , grateful that fear push aside. For now at least.  

Featured Image by AKSHAY Sawant on Unsplash