Recovering after being muted in a Zoom interaction

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Being muted.. 

"Vidya, I will mute you now" the facilitator said.  I felt a sensation in my belly, tightening, cold. 

Did I say something offensive? Did  do something wrong?

Bandwidth was shaky in the Zoom meeting, Facilitator invited feedback.  I raised my hand , I  was invited to speak , I was mindful of time limit but there was no time limit which had been set. I should have asked.

 I know that I ramble sometimes, and people who know me usually  say 'wrap up now'. 

I have had to ask people to wrap  up (and then call on them to make further contributions). 

One time a moderator said.. 'is there anyone other than Vidya who has something to say.. ".. but didn't mute me.  

I type in the chat sometimes so I could be more coherent.

I have never muted anyone in the middle of their speaking though. I have muted when there are background noises and the person seems to have moved from their device.

Because most if not all the times I am moderating or facilitating I would like people to speak and express themselves. 

That power of shutting down, muting is not something I have ever  used.

I stayed silent for the rest of the Zoom interaction. I do know if I clicked the microphone icon with the slash across it, if there would be a  'request to unmute' thing . 

 I typed a few things in the chat, but I was careful,  not really saying what I wanted to say. I stayed because there was valuable content and experience.

Facilitator asked for feedback at the end. I thought about giving the feedback, but did not know if the facilitator wanted to know how I was feeling after they muted me, and not wanting to disrupt any of the vibes in the room and not having the energy to self-censor

Recovering

And I think through of my own facilitation, even as I try to create spaces for participation, have I ever muted someone unintentionally? 

And in public life, Guyana 2026 of the many who stay silent, or muted, or whisper.  

Danger that you speak and then someone mutes you, not with mouse clicks but with threats and/or bribes. 

And also being grateful for learning from those who give space for others to speak, who take great care in understanding that many of us have been taught not to volunteer anything, but to wait until we are asked, and hope we feel safe about it all.  

Even as many of  learn..'let me doan say nutting..'  

Like I did in the Zoom interaction..

because we don't want to disrupt anything .. even though the belly holds the ice 

So reminder to myself,  that I do not use my privilege at any time to mute anyone who I had wanted to hear from.

 

(Update Monday 24 August, 2026 :  I learned after I wrote this that there were some muffled noises from my mic and the need for muting.. I think it is important to share the feelings as a reminder to all of us who moderate )

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