Memory of the passion fruit in the scent...

 

Passion fruit 

Market vendor who is my therapist says 7 for 1000 , not from my vine though because the ones she had from her vine had been as solid as her conversations with me in the morning.

Lesson learned from another woman who dreamed about passion fruit plantations on the highway and had explained about 'leaving them to grow' and then when 'they drop, with skin crinkled is the best time' and seeing the smooth skins from the market vendor and thinking, should I , shouldn't I because it is raining and I could take 1000 to pay part of taxi fare home from market, or buy passion fruit and hope for a hundred dollar front seat in a bus where the bags and umbrella and me could tangle up. 

I am not poor, but prices going up and I stupidly keep walking with the same amount of money to the market thinking I can do some mathematical optimisations to mix and match on fruits and vegetables which will not spoil quickly.

But I believe that a passion fruit a day can help to keep doctor away when life in Guyana continues to push us closer to pills and doctors and so (one of my doctors did say that he had lots of people on mental health meds even as I refused them because I refuse to medicate my mind to survive in Guyana even as I medicate the body to deal with the physical manifestations of living in Guyana.

Some pills are free in the public health system, some others a week dosage of them is cheaper than the week dose of passion fruit. There was a time when passion fruit was plentiful, reasonable. 

 Scent 

 And passion fruit like people, you open and you can never be sure what inside. In the oily times, half of those that I splurged on have been too green, no pulp, too sour, no scent.

Scent..

So on another morning of  Guyana,  walk in the kitchen and there is a rush to the brain which removes the fog to cloud out Guyana.

Scent of the passion fruit long gone. 

The best passion fruit are those that long after you eat them, and leave skin out, or the knife or the spoon.. , that also give the nice heady smell that medicates the breath to the brain and makes a nice rush when you smell good things in bad times. 

That hands and fingers still smell after washing with plain water to remind you of good things too. 

Memory 

Because the hands and fingers have to keep typing over and over about the madness in Guyana, sometimes without thinking because even as one woman told me , an artist.. 'they head hard, you have to keep reminding them, informing others, over and over' .. 

And on a morning after typing about the madness , in manifesting some of the hope that oily Guyana could be a good place for all us, where passion fruit is abundant and we don't need pills..

Holding the scent as memory the passion fruit long gone 

Typing here about this scent too so my hands and fingers could know other things and possibilities.