The trail of icy shoulders...
The woman I knew for years turned to me with an expression of disdain and told me 'Hello' and turned away. We were at the airport.
I had foolishly interpreted the exchange on Facebook that it was possible to have a civil conversation across differences and I did not realise I had yet again pissed off someone.
Her friend though, gave me a hug and we had a nice chat. I know many people talk about who they do not speak to or have nothing to do with.
There is a certain madness about human relationships.. even as we might celebrate former 'enemies' turned acquaintances and partners, we also have to deal with those former 'friends' with whom the connections become deliberately cold and distant.
I do not have the ability to give anyone the cold shoulder. Once in my life I ran when I heard my name called on the road by a former loved one.. but generally I manage to keep engaging when engaged - especially by people who I might have difficulties communicating with. I also learn that even trying to say that I have a communication gap can be problematic as I received this note this weekend "And perhaps the bigger communication gap is you showing up unannounced into my place of work, without word of warning or effort to reconcile the gap."
I know I know.. but I am scared of the accusations of being abusive and sexist and I really did not want to have any interaction which could be further misunderstood.
But cold shoulders.. some are expected, some are not. Some are cool, some are icy.
Some people have been good to explain why they no longer will have anything to do with me.. so those cold shoulders are okay. But man, you know.. when you think you being pleasant..and that things are okay.. nothing like the rebuffs. Other rebuffs are more indirect though.. there are codes which exist apparently but I stupid bad and I do not take hints and so on.
And I think of the people who come and hail me up and who hug me up and so on when I would rather stay far from them..but the Universe has its way of reminding us that there are no easy ways of managing human connections.
I had foolishly interpreted the exchange on Facebook that it was possible to have a civil conversation across differences and I did not realise I had yet again pissed off someone.
Her friend though, gave me a hug and we had a nice chat. I know many people talk about who they do not speak to or have nothing to do with.
There is a certain madness about human relationships.. even as we might celebrate former 'enemies' turned acquaintances and partners, we also have to deal with those former 'friends' with whom the connections become deliberately cold and distant.
I do not have the ability to give anyone the cold shoulder. Once in my life I ran when I heard my name called on the road by a former loved one.. but generally I manage to keep engaging when engaged - especially by people who I might have difficulties communicating with. I also learn that even trying to say that I have a communication gap can be problematic as I received this note this weekend "And perhaps the bigger communication gap is you showing up unannounced into my place of work, without word of warning or effort to reconcile the gap."
I know I know.. but I am scared of the accusations of being abusive and sexist and I really did not want to have any interaction which could be further misunderstood.
But cold shoulders.. some are expected, some are not. Some are cool, some are icy.
Some people have been good to explain why they no longer will have anything to do with me.. so those cold shoulders are okay. But man, you know.. when you think you being pleasant..and that things are okay.. nothing like the rebuffs. Other rebuffs are more indirect though.. there are codes which exist apparently but I stupid bad and I do not take hints and so on.
And I think of the people who come and hail me up and who hug me up and so on when I would rather stay far from them..but the Universe has its way of reminding us that there are no easy ways of managing human connections.
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