No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper..

Miss Jordan , my former Chemistry teacher called me up and asked if me and others from SASOD would meet with Sister Michelle Smith. Sister Michelle is a pastor whose Ministry is about saving gay and lesbian people. Sister Michelle has written her own story about being saved from the lesbian lifestyle.

This week in Guyana there was a series of activities against homosexuality, organised by Operation Restoration.  The meeting included three women from Operation Restoration, Sister Michelle and her colleague Janet from Jamaica; and Janessa and Camille from Power of Change in Trinidad.

Two weeks ago, I was on an NCN Roundtable with Pastor Loris Heywood. Today, some of my colleagues will be at one of the public forums against homosexuality.

In the two hours or so which I spent with the group, these are the points which I heard.. some of them I had heard before, some were new :-

• Homosexuality is a sin, the Bible is the law and the Church must obey the law
• They will not tolerate any violence against person who is homosexual, they love homosexuals and want to cure them. One of the women said she told some students in Berbice that they must not be violent towards homosexuals
• 95% of LGBT people were sexually molested as children 
• Most of the violence is not homophobic, it is about gay people killing and beating other gay people.. the LGBT people who come to them for help tell them the horror stories of gay violence. They do not want to report to the police because of shame, and because they know that what they are doing is wrong. I heard something about 'sin has consequences' but I did not want to press further. 
• Pastors and clergy will be required to marry same sex couples against their religion or they will go to jail
• Parents will go to jail ( a father in Massachusetts went to jail ) for asking that their children not be taught about same sex parents
• Decriminalisation will facilitate more anal sex. Anal sex is unhealthy, the medical professionals know this which is why the Blood bank does not take blood from Homosexuals. The sodomy laws protect the population - lesbians also have anal sex so they are also at risk
• Homosexuality is a perversion - reference was made to all the things which homosexuals do .. fisting, golden showers , sado-masochism
•  The EU and the United Nations are pushing this , this is not of Guyana and the Caribbean (yep.. is true, they fund a lot of the LGBT advocacy work and so on
• We should learn the history of sodomy laws and why they were implemented.. one woman said she was surprised that our laws did not decriminalise same sex relations between women
• There are homosexuals in high places  so there is no real discrimination and that there is an inner circle of gays who control everything - I did not ask for names - (I had to emphatically deny that a certain homosexual in a high place was not a member of SASOD.. I was shocked that they thought he was! )
• The Church does work against domestic violence and child abuse but those things are not being legalised, hence the campaign and Ministries against homosexuality;
• That homosexuals are protected as individuals against violence and other forms of discrimination already
• That some were frustrated because they was not getting anywhere with me (no that way)
• that all who say they are Christian are not Christian

These other points were also made :-

• I do not want to listen, that I am closed to their views
• I am inclined to distract from their points in my rebuttal of their arguments
• I must understand that the messages from the Church are of compassion and love and not what some of 10 to 15 years ago used to say (fyah bun is not their message)
• I look good for my age
• I have a tendency to dominate the conversation  and not listen
• that even though I aspire to stay far from the Christian who I was once close to, that is not good enough for them (and one said that I was not being truthful )
• I do not want to face the science and research which is proving that homosexuality is not natural and dangerous 
• Don't worry wid me, I does do meh ting 
• Dat I is something else.. (I made a comment when Sister Michelle asked the camera woman to push the button again.. )
• I will not be able to understand since I am not moved by the same Spirit.

 Why did I come? What is my truth?
They asked me why did I come then, if I was so convicted in my beliefs. I said that I did not come to change anyone's belief.. I could not anyways so why would I do so. I came to find out from them what they thought about how do people who believe differently should live in a place. I wanted to meet them actually because I have a secret fascination with how the evangelical Church mobilises and how wonderfully grass roots it is.. I mean.. I think of how 75% of the time I spend on LGBT work is spent on arguing with other LGBT people and struggling to meet the donor demands.. why.. it must be so refreshing to just be able to focus on the message and getting it out there.
I wanted to ask Sister Michelle to Minster to the women who are not lesbian who are survivors of violence and abuse and who have not healed. 
I came because of all of the Christians I know and love, some of them LGBT who struggle to reconcile their faith and sexuality

None of the points I made were accepted, so I shall not bother to repeat them here.


One of the women looked genuinely distressed that I seemed not to understand.  I did feel bad that I had made her distressed.

I learnt that it was easy for me to like the women - to feel affection for them - though one bothered me terribly in terms of how she spoke. Our histories are complex.. if this discussion were happening with six men, it would have been different. I wonder if the reason I have this affinity is that perhaps I am just as driven and that I recognise that.. and for some strange reason, I am fascinated by that.



Prayers 
We ended with prayers. I said the English translation of Twameva Mata.. Sister Michelle prayed and I listened to understand ... the prayer was not for me to change anything about how I viewed life .. or maybe I did not hear that.. it was for me to see light. Sister Michelle also spoke in her prayer from Isaiah.. and prayed that no weapon formed against me shall prosper.


I told one of the women who asked me if I do not think that I am male, that I am a black lesbian.. she did not understand.
As I write this.. perhaps with the hope in that prayer.. I am glad that even though we ended the meeting thinking the same way we started about homosexuality... I do not see these women or their work as weapons against me (or SASOD).