Painting, talking, hugging, healing around the Eco Fun-Fest

 

Painting 

The Greenheart Movement held an Eco Fun-Fest two days after more the manifestation of the violence from the State in Guyana resulting in the deaths of 11 year old Adrianna Younge, and Maline LaCruz, SueAnn LaCruz and their mother Waveney LaCruz.

Social media is full of the rage, shock, anger. People with children cannot imagine the horror. And all things being true where raging at protestors who blocking road while also raging with them at the bizarre hold which the police leadership seem to have on baba and papa prezzy. 

One day I felt like I could not walk and had to keep moving. Another letter to the editor drafted, another appeal. I think I can do it, but I cannot really. Coping tools help.

Eco Fun-Fest has face painting. And small canvas tiles , pick up and paint it .. looking for the blue which is calming for me. But artist Nigel Niix Butler had to get to some so I started with green, yellow, red on a dry leaf I had difficulty finding in the immaculate garden at the National Library. 

Add blue. It has been a while, And even though is a small tile, using pointers and so on, it take time. Mind on detail. Face painting and body painting happen and people showing them.

Joy really at how things could end up for those who have never done them before. I never paint a tile at the National Library before.

Talking 

 I am walking with two visitors from foreign. They both tell me that the there is a tension and aggressive energy in Guyana, unlike Suriname and other places they have visited. They ask me to explain - they know about the recent traumatic incidents and cannot believe. I also now in the last few years, feeling this energy around me walking around like heavy. Traffic and thing every body in a hustle, hurry and anything could spark.

And at the Eco-Fun Fest , we talk about avoiding the trauma, tuning out. Woman said she could not eat for two days. Other woman saying she not sure how to respond, as even as she tries to tune out, she hears the collective trauma all of us feeling. First time I had met her, we had a disagreement and she reminded me of who she was. The other woman said she realise we talking about the thing we said we would not talk about

 Hugging 

Then spontaneously we hug each other, three people who don't really know each other.  Give ourselves permission to know that we have to move from the horror and anger and rage, replace with working out what action beyond the fires we want to burn (I would have been burning police station too were it my child , burning Guyana flag, burning Constitution,  because sometimes ash can be fertile ground to grow new things.,) because things not changing never mind the 'engagement' and so on.

But hugging strangers felt better than burning things which will not change

Healing

Lots of laughing with strangers at the Eco-Fun Fest. Had the chance to walk into St George's Cathedral and hearing full sound of beautiful notes as Dr Wendy Rudder practiced with the tenor and  other singers.  Making music together - not like in the minibus where the DJ talking about f..ing women and so on while other tunes playing. 

Venting and raging are first part of the grief, there will be more trauma to come, nothing is changing.  

Lots of painting and so on, ways of making and creating together. Man talked about going on a run with others in community this morning.

Woman and I talk as well about how our bodies hold trauma, and that Guyana is like that, as the visitor said, many  of us, holding in, waiting to lash out and cuss out those close to us in the powerlessness. 

 And as we rage and protest, we also have to organise to heal,  because we have to walk, breathe , move live even as the police and the State of Guyana seems to want to destroy some of us while others tune out.