The Open Water men; and the security guard..

(This is not a review of Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson) 

Guard

The business place invited me and a lot of others to come  and do a transaction so we could continue doing business with them. 

A lot of us probably would go elsewhere but like so many relationships which are bad, leaving is not always easier than staying.

I pass one guard , not really seeing him as he is shorter than me and he tells me to go to 'the woman there' ..

"the woman there" - another security guard, smiling , polite, tells me 'don't worry it wouldn't take long', relaxed stance.",, and 'you here , might as well stay.." when I realise that I am in the black hole of customer waiting.

Sit down and take out Open Water. 

I have started, stopped, started many times since I got it over a year ago. Place nice and cool with the AC, some children running around. 

TV has cricket India and Bangladesh silent silent. Ads and so for 'NRIs' .. and loans and so. Radio though playing , music is annoying, thump thump. 

Look up to clock but there is a bar in front of the clock and I say, yeah.. message - don't measure time, that like death, the transaction will be done whenever it will be done.

Announcer and DJ on radio really annoying so I try to close my ears and go into Open Water. Reviewers said the prose is lyrical. There is  a lot of music in there, different kinds of music and people responding in ways to dance, sing, listen..

Written in the second person , so a kind of rough start. "You are here now, no time, read the book and enjoy it "

 Men.

 Beautiful book. A lot of movement, landscape changing. Man thinking about his grandmother. We never know the name of the narrator. Love story. All kind of love though. The narrator describes the love of a man who he sees on the train "

 "He caught your eye. You nodded to each other and raised your drinks in joyous greeting. The gaze required no words at all, no, it was an honest meeting. You want to tell her that, in this instant, one which was filled with the fullness of time, you loved this man. Loved him like kin. You had no intentions of making a home in each other, but only to stay for a moment, only to feel safe for a moment."  

Safety again , in the barber shop "The barber works quietly, murmuring to himself. You close your eyes and allow yourself to drift away. You’re safe here. You are able to say what you want and know it is OK. You know there is a semblance of control here that you don’t often have. You know you can be free here... "

Book finish, I feel I could start reading it over. But I get up.. go pacing around.,

 Guard

"Are you getting through sir" the security guard asked. The accent not sounding "Guyanese." 

I  probably look restless, like I might do something. Not feeling the safety of the barber shop. or the freedom to be.  In the book, a lot of talk about breath and breathing. I am breathing in the AC air. This line in the book " You speak and realize that, in slowing down to speak, you can breathe."

"Nah, I can't believe is 2024 and I have to come in here to waste time"..  in the book about anger "

I am glad to tell someone, exhaling in a way.

The man said, 'In America, this would not happen.." 

Face is serious, body bulky. Bald. In the book, Leon the barber described as "Leon, the barber, beautiful man, wise as an oak, dreads flapping with excitement, stubs out the joint and announces he has a present for you "  This is not Leon here.

 The guard continued.. "this place is backward.. you see that woman there, that black woman there, she cannot read and write and I am supposed to work with her.. "

I say well, I hope the employers give a chance to learn to read and write.. 'No, they would never take the chance to uplift themselves.. all they do is talk talk'

Guard turns to another customer coming in.. 'morning, how are you today?" 

No smile though

 .."You have to be pleasant, no matter how you feeling, you never know if people having a bad day"
He continues talking. I do the little prompts as I think that this man is like me sometimes, glad for a conversation with a stranger rather than the greetings which end almost as soon as they start.
 

He continues.. voice raising a bit 'People want to fight for position, they don't want to work, I never lick no boots'.. 'I stand all day, I am a professional'
and his voice is softer and smoother as he tells another customer 'morning, and directs them to the seating area.

Turns back to me, and for a moment I wonder if he is vex with me as voice raises again, quickens and face sets "People here only like to talk name, they don't want to work, get up and get, they jealous of others'..  His hands though, are above his stomach, not clasped , not waving around.

"Do you know, these guards, they throw hot water on the homeless out there" he tells me about the other guards. The two guards, women, were pleasant with me, smiling, not the type to throw hot water .. he though.. 

'No humanity, how can you treat other humans like that"

I have nothing to say. In the book " You’ve asked the person you’re shooting to relax a little. His shoulders are bunched up, the tension in his jaw causing his eyes to narrow. He doesn’t know what
to do with his hands and holds them, holding himself, folded inwards. Relax, you say. He tries to smile, but cannot. He’s trying to put himself at ease, but he cannot" 

Man looks away, face set. We don't speak.

"You know.. you can go and sit and wait there.. " he tells me. I am like no no I am arite 

then I realise he is done with me ..  so I go sit.

After I finish the business, I pass him on the way out. There is a slight smile on his face as he says 'you get through" . I say 'yeah.. ", and we bump fists.

(Many thanks to the creative writing group )