Breating, moving, laughing, writing away the pain..

 

No Diclo gel.. 

The woman laughed when I said "nuff ah we mussee gat pain in Guyana" . She hadr she told me that they did not have any more of the diclo gel, and only a few of the diclofenac tablets in stock. 

I had a slight panic thinking hell, would I manage if I need the diclo gel, then panicking thinking, hey hey.. are depending on the thing, and then relaxing as I thought what will be will be.

I don't know when I realised that the mornings were more difficult, when I could no longer do the surya namaskar that I used to do straight out of bed. 

A friend told me drink an Advil before bed and you will wake up bouncing. 

And then the weirdness of the left hip sciatic nerve connected to shoulder and sometimes across shoulder and the base of the head. 

Which would go away, as I move around, or do certain stretches.

Or laugh with people.

Or if no laughs or so working, then rub lil of the diclo gel , and then breathe and so.

At some point I had to accept that the pain is  every day all the time, going and coming.. sometimes there, and then when I realise it, say hang on , not there. Not sure if this is definition of 'chronic'.

Breathing, moving..

But I don't use the pain medications, keeping a paracetmol for headache. 

A colleague from University days now has an active practice using pain talk therapy, 

I realised that some pains which don't have any obvious physical injury or trauma could be relieved by working on mind things, thinking of releasing stress and so.

 And not being anxious about the pain.

One night, anxiety as I had to read some difficult Devanagari script in the Ramayana gole class, body twinges which then disappeared after singing and then getting up from sitting on the ground . And breathing deeply.

And the pain coming back after difficult conversation with a man about one of the dead horse social justice issues which not getting sorted out.

Sometimes the pain goes after a yoga routine, other times it doesn't .

Sometimes, if stomach is empty, instead of Advil,  breathing and stretching before sleep, since a good night's sleep could result in no pains in the morning.

And trying this belly breathing exercise to relieve some lower back pain.

Laughing, writing..

Belly full laughing probably relaxes all the muscles. 

Sometimes though, is not seeking out 'comedies' to laugh.

Learning to laugh at myself lil bit as I stumble around, realising that I am shuffling instead of striding on the road, and when in moments of stress, finding absurdities which relieve the stress. 

And also sorting out why the pain is coming, when it does.

So understanding that body is reacting a day or two later after an event which increased my anxiety even though I did not think about it.

And to figure out in ways, inn writing and thinking through things causing the pain, the pain eases.

Sometimes.