Konfidenshal: GuyBai Intelligence Agency report on Chicken bones, gay Pryde and AI

 (This report is konfidenshal. if you are not de intended reader of dis report, den please try to mind your bizness. after all , we do not exist.)

From: GuybaiIA

To: Pappa Prezzy and Baba Prezzy (we continue to report to all Prezidents as in de law)

Subject: Report on Month 2

1. Division Chicken bones

Agents noticed that chicken bones were found at the door with some balls of fluff. The bones seemed laid out like a six point star.  

The security footage did not show anything as the cameras were covered in strange flickering ways.

In our briefing, agents felt that we have to be conscious of supernatural threats and people invoking evil forces against us. 

Agents found articles on the internet which showed that all modern security agencies monitor UFOS. 

We disposed of the one agent who said that  lizards were mating on the camera lens; and that the bones were laid out by a stray cat who had mange .

We have created a Division Chicken Bones, which conducts regular rituals to stay in touch with the other worlds.

The rituals do not include killing chickens, or eating Fry Chicken.

 

2. Lie Detecting

We continue to use the standard to try to keep people who were lying and the machine did not blip. 

The challenge though was when people were telling the truth and the machine said they are lying. 

Well this one instance, we asked people 'Are you alive?". Some people, they said 'Yes' and the machines went crazy.

We took note and added those people to Division Chicken Bones.

 3. Gay Pryde

Agents listened in on the gay Pryde folkx. 

The connections were not good or noisy, so agents used local intelligence to fill gaps.  

There was an alert that some gay Pryde folkx were going to go to give do what sounded like give welcome embrace to some men from the Middle East. 

We arranged  the protection detail. 

One agent inserted into the chatter that the men from the Middle Easte who were wearing beautiful robes were not cross-dressing in solidarity with the gay Pryde folkx but were coming to invest in GuyBai. 

And we cancelled the protection detail.

We heard there was going to be a Fyah. 

The Fyah was going to be a burning of  all laws and religious scriptures which say gay Pryde folkx are a danger to humanity and should not be part of OneGuyBai. 

The Fyah was going to be on  the tarmac of the Marryot Hotel, and lit with donations of excess oil from the Oil Companies. 

The Fyah did not light though so it was all okay.

There was some chatter about uncrowning the King of HEngland to "dismantle the monarchy which had created the colonial oppression." (We think that is what the chatter said , it make no sense to us)

We alerted our counterparts in HEngland .

The King sent agents to make sure that the gay Pryde was a lot of fun, and party. 

The agents made sure that there was no  kind of ugly protest or riot, or in danger of taking away the Crown or anything of the sort.

We recommend that next year gay Pryde will be part of the OneGuyBai events as it seems safe and no threat to the status-quo.

4. AI

We asked ChatGPT "What are the security threats to GuyBai"?  

The results did not show anything about Opposition leaders, or any journalists or any people from defunct civil society organisations or so. 

We kept regenerating the answers but still, nothing much changed from the paragraphs related to :

• transnational organised crime
• border disputes
• Cybersecurity
• Corruption
  
• Economic challenges
  
• National Resource Exploitation "However, the newfound wealth can also attract attention from international actors and increase the risk of corruption, resource conflicts, and disputes over revenue sharing."
• Ethnic and political tensions
• Environmental challenges
• Climate change
• Terrorism and Extremism because .. "the global threat landscape remains fluid. The rise of extremism and the potential for radicalization are concerns that require ongoing monitoring and preventive measures"

We will not use this tool any more but will create our own Artificial Intelligence to give us the answers you want.

 5. Inter-agency collaboration

We had a monthly meeting in our offices. We scanned for the bugs after everyone left.

We found a note next to the army bug we left in the toilets. 

The note said 'It seems that someone is poisoning your agents because there is frequent belly wuk which they are not reporting because they do not want to  lose their jobs." 

The police had not replaced the battery in the bug they left behind.

We will continue to collaborate.

End of Report