Man talk: Bunning batty man as camouflage; building an ashram on a farm

 

Camouflage 

  'You going down?" .. man smiles and asks. Quiet morning, I am first passenger. Gospel music playing. The man is one of the quiet drivers, doesn't talk much. I have seen him smoking a joint when he is on his break. 

Other passengers join.. school children, some adults. Everybody saying 'morning'.  Nice vibe. I am anxious as some challenging work ahead. An out of route bus picks up some passengers in front of him .. we all talk about how police don't see and so on.

Woman sits between me and the driver. 

Music changes and Caribbean man calls to 'Bun batty man " and plenty talk about batty man and so.

I say 'aye man, lift up the nation nah man, batty man aint do nobody do nutting.. what you killing so early in the morning' . Driver smiles, a tense smile. He fiddles with the set. Music changes. Woman smiles.

"Is nah me.. " he says, 

"But you is the driver, you in charge of dis bus, who can tell you want music to play;;;" 

Woman nods her head

No more smile from him. His face sets. "You aint hearing what i saying.. de people who listen duh man music want to take advantage on me, so i play so they know I is one of them dem .. is a camouflage, is nah dat i like it'

 His lips are barely moving as he talks. Body is tense.  

Other bus drives say the same thing.. is not that they like the dutty music inspiring violence and so..

"Nah man, you gotta share positive vibrations with the universe, not this' 

Woman nods, serious face

"You aint hearing me ' he says.. his eyes glisten a lil bit, like tears. " I don't tell nobody nutting".. 

I get the hint, shut up ,, don't tell him anything more.

There is some pain there, anger. Not sure if is at me. The smiling camouflage removed , to talk about the pain at having to wear the other camouflage.

 He looks like he wants to say something but cannot find the words. Another man had told me too  when I asked him how he feeling..' man, me aint how fuh explain' .

I say cool.   But is not cool. A man tried to burn a woman alive before killing himself, Another man drive over a woman before drinking poison. Drinking buddies and men who work together turn on each other quickly.  People lamenting that 'men need help' but another popular who inspiring other men who nearly drown when a boat capsize say he don't wear lifejacket because "we is nah no pretty boy thing, wear lifejacket and them thing.We thing loud" 

Wear de camouflage. Not the lifejacket though, better dead dan be a pretty boy or batty boy or whatever. 

Man thing loud.

 Ashram 

Young taxi man in shades and wearing tam with twirly moustache and beard with one lock. Tattoos on the arms showing

He helps me to put my load in the car. Some drivers do, some don't..

I think Indian rasta and expect reggae when he presses the button on the music set. 

First day of Navratra and new moon and me not working together. 

A Lord Shiva chant fills the car, low. 

I push aside the dark clouds.. and ask 'you keeping Navratra' 

I ask like a fool because I know people listen to mantras and other chants but they are not necessarily Hindu.

'Yeah.. I keep everything'.. 'I am Hindu, spiritual" ..  "I live in the interior, going back tomorrow.. but when I come out I do a lil hustle '

And he explains that he had seen a place with a specific tree in his dreams. That Lord Ganesha and Lord Shiva had appeared in his dreams. He gave up the lifestyle he had.. 'normal things.. work, play, reproduce' . A conversation with another Hindu man led to an abandoned farm..'and this was the place I dreamed about.. the tree was there.. the path , everything'.. and he showed me a photo of the tree.

He was not a farmer before.. but 'being close to the earth, to nature, to the water.. is good'

"I want to build an ashram.. so people could find peace, come a lil bit or forever and he shows me the photo of the ashram.

Shades still on but face relaxed, body relaxed. He talks about the journey, and the vision and about creating the place.

I wanted to ask if he uses the ganja too for Lord Shiva.. but it doesn't matter. 

He is on a taxi hustle like the bus man. But the vibes are different.

 Man talk

Men need help is what a lot of women and men say when men beat and kill women. One man who has formed a men's group says that the women make the man kill and beat the woman. 

Help without accountability. Is woman make us so. Other men don't have anything to do with it.

I imagine the taxi driver might be able to help the bus driver at some point. Other men might say that is batty boy and pretty boy things.. batty man gah fuh bun.

But is the camouflages that have to burn for so many of us men.. so we can help ourselves.