The 72 year old woman who dances everyday...

 

 

Beyond the mask

"You think I would not recognise you with the mask" the woman said and I could imagine her smiling behind her mask as her eyes were bright and face relaxed as faces do when people smile.

I had been shuffling down the pavement, tripping over the bumps and so and at some point I thought to lift my shoulders and look ahead and walk purposefully and so on..

The woman walked passed me and turned back. Bright red turban, armless dress. Back straight and smooth quick movements.

"I can never forget yall" she said.  

The late 1990s in Guyana. The man who married her was abusive to her, burn her with hot water. Her church did not believe in divorce. Help & Shelter and Legal Aid had just started up. The legislation was being tested.

"I was depressed for a long time.. grateful for everyone who helped .." she said, remembering counsellors,  lawyers, people who had to walk with her.

"I surrendered to Yahweh." she said.. "in the nasty court toilet I spread newspaper on the floor and prayed".. Prayer not to save her marriage or that her husband would change, but praying instead that she would get through the transition out of the abusive marriage. 

Same God, different church, different prayers.

We talked. She had remarried, travelled, Covid-19 preventing some of the travel. Working on her own. 

"He wanted to kill me you know.. " she said without bitterness or anger.. her arms with the scars from the hot water burn.

A man killed another woman last week. Another man chopped a woman. She threw a spade at him and the State has charged her with assaulting the man who wanted to kill her.

The Breadfruit Collective did a reflection of those who died.  Died when the men who were supposed to love them claimed ownership of the lives.

 She had gone public at a time when women who decided to leave did so quietly.  

She had to live with the man in the house because there were legal complications in the division of property. More than 20 years ago when we first met, her energy was devoted to daily survival and being on the lookout for safety. She lives in a different place. She is different or living differently.

Butterfly

Surviving domestic violence and other forms of gender based violence is more than leaving.  Taij Kumarie Moteelall in a recent conversation had said that transformation means becoming what is not recognised to the former self - like the butterfly which was once the caterpillar. 

I remembered this as healing has to be transformation as moving to a different place where the abuse and trauma do not hold back progress.

"I help people now who come to me.. .. I can't forget how others helped me.." The voice was bright behind the mask.

I told her how glad I was to see her.. her energy was helping to shift some of the despair which had risen after seeing the lack of any serious political will to deal with domestic violence and gender based violence.  I got into.. how do you take care..

"I dance every day" she said and lifted one arm as if to show. 

We laughed. I felt lighter  as I walked away.. grateful to her for the interaction.

 

Featured Photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash