AntivirusGy 17: Sanitising with stretches, breath and gratitude..

 

 Sanitising..

 Wake up feeling tired and thinking of things left to be done. This was not the plan.. the 'taking the break' so that I could wake up with nothing to be done. Body and mind reacting to the no sleep and there is a restlessness in the tired body like tiny tiny twitches all over which are networked with the nerves in the pain. Twitches from the things I had to do, the flood, the vaccine uncertainty, the changes in body in mind which age, the income earning, the exhaustion from managing the diabetes without having to resort to meds.. and maybe it is the moon,..

Strange things in the week as I accept that I cannot do what I did before and cannot do the same things as before. Found myself rehearsing about five times for a 10 minute thing which I have done before many things but I no longer trust myself to wing it. And while sleep comes the night before, the sleep does not come the night after as another thing comes up. And that even the yoga routine does not really help to ease the body.

Get out to go in the rain, thinking of how to avoid Covid , that everything around me could kill me mask or no mask because accidental touching of hands, face etc. Breath is kind of shallow and mind all over the place. At some point, I say.. soon as I get home.. I need to go do the yoga routine.. try the postures.. I start praying .. please God, please God.. let me get through the routine properly.. not like the day before when I did it but it didn't quite work as doing it with my mind on the other things is not good

Stretches, breath

Go down on floor and get moving and remember.. wait, wait.. patience. You have to breathe.. you cannot rush this. Remember.. breathe.. move slowly.. and breathe slowly. Think of the breath. Go through the warm ups.. nothing can be rushed. Don't worry about the outcome.. go through each thing slowly.

So body goes through.. breathing. stretching... feeling pain in the shoulders go and the micro twitches stop. And breathing through as the body releases the stress as the body has to adjust to the letting go to.

Thinking of this slowly, trying not to think of why I am here, how I got here.. but being here. And pain comes back to the shoulder where the vaccine had entered and I try not to think about the vaccine economics and politics.

And pain comes back to the shoulder at some point, and goes again. The body though is moving slowly. Breathing.. I start thinking of the things which I have not been able to do and want to do and don't feel tired like I did when I woke up.

 Gratitude..

 And so I express gratitude that I was able to do the routine of stretches and breathing. Acceptance that the pains have not gone for ever and that the body and mind will twitch again, but not now. The floods and food prices and I will not complain as that is how it is. I respect the farmers and I cannot grow a damn thing.

Market though.. gratitude for the banana, mango and the pineapple from the man who learned my name after seeing me on TV and always calls my name.. and mango bought after thinking to hell with it, because mango is good for the soul and bad for the diabetic body,  passion fruit from the woman who provides listening and conversation about anything ranging from ochro water to exxon damaging the plates of the sea bed and that is why we are flooding; tangerine from the woman who always asks 'how you doing.. how you muddah' , grapefruit from 'Uncle' who sometimes has ortanique and who I am not sure is making any money at his stall or if he is there just to enjoy being there.. 

And seeing genip and thinking nah because the woman who passed this week with the first genip for the season and said 'Uncle does always buy from me' as she put a few extra in the bowl.. and thinking that she might pass today but she has not passed since.

Understanding that beyond the transaction of money for goods, that there is some minor connections around with random people even as others have disconnected but not allowing my body or mind to twitch about the disconnections.

Sanitising the other toxins away to survive for another day. 

( 21 June 2021 is International Day of Yoga.  Youtube has a helpful set of tutorials and explanations if you cannot make it to a class. )

 (AntivirusGy is a collection of ramblings on things which have changed since Covid 19 entered our vocabulary)