Phagwah coloured draft joint statement from the PPP and PNC


We , the PPP and PNC, whom most of you have trusted as the custodians of Guyana's proud heritage and both the innovators of the proud legacy ahead, after taking in some of the bhang and dhatoor and sharing the peace and love of Phagwah, and looking forward to the message of Easter

We realise that legal elections will not solve the problem. We have both had a chance to rule and we recognise that still,  yall don't want to be ruled on one or both of us.

We recognise how easy it is for yall peaceful protests to degenerate into mayhem which can be photographed beautifully and shared around on social media and lead to the international headlines about crisis and so in the most beautiful tourism country in the world.

We know there is a court case going on, but we know that like the elections, the court judgement will not make the country happy.

We therefore agree to the following :-
  1. We will beg GECOM to scan and upload the Statements of Polls they have and the PNC will upload the SOPs they have so everybody could do a tally for the Region 4 totals based on the uploaded documents from the three parties. We will ask Exxon as a neutral party to lead the  comparison and tabulation of the count since oil price drop and we sure they must have some time on their hands now.  Anybody else could join in the counts. 
  2. If Exxon does not agree to do this, we will ask them to renegotiate the oil contract.
  3. We know that the winners will be losers. We need to decide on a President and Prime Minister.  If it turns out that the PPP is the winner, then the PPP agrees to let Irfaan go back to high school, and make the nice family army man Mr Phillips to be the President. If the PNC is the winner, then the nice family army man Mr Granger will be President.
  4. We agree that Mr Jagdeo will go away and take up some work at the UN or World Bank or where ever .
  5. The Prime Minister will be the Presidential candidate for the small party with the most votes of the small parties with women Presidential candidates
  6. We will share parliamentary seats, 31 seats each, and then give one seat to each of the other  small parties with the most votes.   32 seats will be for men, 33 for women.
  7. We will have 12 Ministries- 6 Ministers from the PPP, 6 Junior Ministers from PNC and 6 Ministers from the PNC supported by 6 Junior Ministers from the PPP.  
  8. The PNC candidates who are in public service positions will remain. There will be an equal number of PPP candidates put into new positions in the Ministries. 
  9. We agree that Ministers and Junior Ministers and MPs will have equal salaries and benefits and so on so that everybody could enjoy the prosperity and good life
  10. We agree to decriminalise ganja. 
  11. We agree to not deal with the homosexuality issue as we do not want anybody praying for this plan to fail
  12. We agree to keep imbibing bhang and dhatoor so that we could find solutions so that we could all win.
Signed on this Holi Day





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