The woman who borrowed the cutlass ...

Cutlass
"Do you have a cutlass to lend me?" the woman asked me.  She had taken the money from me, fingers slightly curled. Skin on her hands, like the skin on her face and arms, kind of golden brown and wrinkled. Her eyes shine in the face. She does not say much usually. Sometimes I hear thanks.

"I will bring it back.. " she says.

The woman stands under the tree and looks at the house. When there was a jhandi flag in front of the house sometimes I saw her praying in the direction of the flag. She has been coming for a few years.
She stands under the tree. I think sometimes she calls. The security guard opposite had said that she comes often, waits, and then moves off.  She has some brightly coloured blouses and skirts.
She wears a headtie, wrapped like a rumal.  She always has a bag, wearing on the right side. Slippers. She is about 5ft tall, slightly bent. Thin. 

She never comes on the bridge to hit the gate. I give her money. She has never asked for money but she takes it. One time we talked about where she lived. Some family property in dispute. I remember that she had almost smiled when talking about the property.

She looked at me. Face looking the same, No smile. I said .. "Cutlass..."

"I have a yard to weed, the people will pay me.."
 I felt ashamed, my weeding leaves more chops in earth than grass removed.
"Where is the yard.. " I ask.

"Over so.. she points in the random easterly direction"..

I think I will lose the cutlass.  It doesn't matter though.

She had asked two other times to give her a broom to sweep the yard after some heavy breeze had knocked off the dry palm fruit. I had told her it was okay, that I would sleep. One time she said, no smiles no other expression, 'you sure, give me, I will help you'.

She said she would leave the cutlass inside the gate if I don't see her. I am not sure if she will bring it back.
I watch her walk down the road, cutlass in hand. The cutlass looks big for her.
Three hours or so later, she comes back.
Sweating. She is walking briskly.   Cutlass slightly pointed out in front of her.

She passes the cutlass to me. I wonder if she wants water.

'Everything arite, you get through?"
"Yes" she says and she walked off. I wonder for one wild moment if she attacked anyone.


The woman has never asked for money. One time she had asked for water and I had given her some. "Not cold" she had specified.



Water to drink
"Uncle, gie me some water nah?" The young woman asked me. She and another girl and an older woman are begging in the street.  The story changes - the first time it was fire, this time it was that they are not getting work - they do farming and domestic work... but 'domestic nah deh nuff nuff by we side'  . They were not asking for work.

The first time the young woman had asked me for something to eat. After I had given them money.
I said, ow man, guh buy something. She had smiled and walked off.
This time she asked for water. The older woman and the other young woman did not want anything.

Thieves have gone into yards and houses after asking elderly or other people alone at home for water. Something about the young woman's face. I said ow man go buy the water nah wid what I give you.

I am not being kind in giving money to the women begging. Guilt is my motivation, and fear of more bad karma. The young woman who asks me for water after I give the money looks at me as though she is seeing through my performance of guilt ridden money giving and pushing my boundaries about being kind. It is like she is laughing at my boundaries of "kindness"

The woman who borrowed the cutlass from me looks at me without expression in her eyes or face.



Two panty and a nightie
"Me gah fuh get two panty and a nightie fuh go in de hospital' the woman who comes begging, sometimes shaking the gate for money for her asthma inhaler.  Full head of gray hair, umbrella. Nice bright clothes. Strong voice.

She approaches me as though I am a Government agent and she is coming for a periodic pension. She does not say thanks.  And then there are additional request and I go and get more money for her.

"Two panty is 500 and a nightie is 500".. so I give her extra. Next time.. "like dem want tek monefy fuh me see Rambarran fuh find out about the surgery"  I tell her I will find out who she can talk to so she doesn't have to bribe anyone.

Next time she comes, she has a cough.. "Dem nah gun do de surgery wid dis kaff..  I need cough syrup"  I tell her I don't want to give her syrup
"Give me lil money fuh buy rice".. I go and get the money to give her for the rice.. thinking this is what I might spend on chocolate or ice cream.

I tell her to go the health centre for treatment.

She tells me the next time.. "I had to pay the nurse $4000 to get the injection.. I tell them that a brother tell me that is free but the nurse say I had to pay for the injection"
Her voice is strong. Clear.

"De injection wuk"

I wait for her to ask me for the reimbursement of the $4000.  She doesn't ask for it

We make an arrangement to go visit the health centre so I could find out who asked her for the money.

She hasn't come back as yet.

The woman who borrowed the cutlass might have come back, stood under the tree outside the house. And I might not have seen her. She doesn't call though, waits for me to see her.