Plate of gold, breathing, writing and coping..

Plate of Gold..
A man is fetching a basket on his head and the basket is full of golden skinned tangerines. Something about this tangerine season with all the gold about. I buy even though I don't really need. Grateful for them because the season would end soon. And then I realise that other fruits are about and they all look nice and golden on the plate together. Tangerine, passion fruit, banana and mango.

So I take the fruits, arrange them on a plate and take the picture so I could write something after a rough few days.



Breathing..
Breathe in, breathe out , I tell myself as I have to take a bus with loud dutty music.  I realise that I could easily not hear the music and just focus on the place where I want to stop. 

An MMC security vehicle is passing and one of the guards, armed I think, starts to harass a woman walking in front of me.  The man's language gets worse as the women ignores him . I breathe in, breathe out and say to him 'Behave yuh self...'  He asks me if is my mother..  , I breathe in and out and keep walking.  The politicians in Guyana who get men like him to vote for them would never ask them to behave themselves.

The tangerines are sweet.

Something about the invisible fumes from the vehicles and the sharp smell. Walking on the road is getting more dangerous.

Breathing deeply when I could. And I manage to get through most of the chores and activities. To move, to  walk when I don't feel like moving or walking.

Writing
I breathe deeply during the yoga routine the day after a brief text exchange with a loved one who had been shunning me. The pattern of shunning, reaching out, shunning. I breathe deeply and then I write two long emails. I feel good that I could email and say what I think, and feel sad that it doesn't really matter because the writing would not change the pattern.

But I change the pattern of writing in my journal of the desire for the loved one. And in so doing, not recording so when I look back, if I look back, I will remember things like mangoes and golden tangerines.


Coping
A man who has detached from Guyana in despair asks how I cope in this place. He is getting ready to leave Guyana, leaving as painful since he never believed he would.  A good environment is needed to thrive.

 I say well, it is sometimes about the detachment, and not being here in mind even if I am here in body.

Like sitting in a minibus and detaching from the music, the speeding and the driver cussing up.

And being selective and mindful like doing things like arranging golden fruits on a plate and taking pictures of them and writing about being grateful for them.