Limping along until sunset..
Limping
Night was good, deep sleep with weird dreams so it is a surprise to wake up feeling exhausted and with pains everywhere. The dark clouds are weighing on the mind but the other part starts processing all the things which have to be done. The pain in the foot is serious so I limp out of the bed and hope the movement will ease the pain.
I don't want to move. The movement does not help.
I have to take the painkiller which wrecks my stomach sometimes. In the cloudiness in my mind I limp through the routine and plan for the day.
I limp into town, to the Government office with usually efficient people.
On the way I randomly stop to chat with a woman and her dogs are barking at me . I wonder if they seeing some jumbie in me. Talking to the woman helps with easing some of the pain though.
I laugh as I realise I have to limp up the steps to the third floor for a document.. And after waiting a while and finding the emotional intelligence to ask the woman why I am waiting, limp back downstairs without the document.
While waiting I wonder why I am feeling so tired. I stand up to move around. I don't realise that in the fog that time is passing.
Day before I had cooked the best maghmour yet . It was difficult to cook though and I had been worried.
The fatigue and tiredness as a result of the stress. Never mind the yoga and other things.
I take a bus instead of the brisk walk which is the exercise.
People
Time is running out as it does and I have more errands to run. I manage to chat a lil bit with the man selling baiganee. He might have noticed that I sounded fuzzy but didn't say anything.
I keep walking down the road, not really noticing anything. I see in front of me , a guy who I know on Facebook. Nice guy on Facebook and the last interaction we had a few months ago, he disclosed some personal problems. We never chatted after that .. My head is foggy remembering the confidentiality rules and so on.. to not make contact with people who might have told you things because you are a stranger and might be embarrassed after telling you. To wait until they make contact again. And I know in another mood, I would have been clearer, been able to hold my shoulders straight, smile and say hello.
But I walk past him.. behind him quickly limping , pain killer working. And I feel like an ass afterwards.
Afternoon brings fatigue. I go and have one of the fitful sleeps of the hot afternoon. I am puzzled because I have slept good during the night before. I wake up feeling more tired despite drinking water and so and I try to get on with evening chores.
Sunset
There is a ten minute break in the chores. I go down stairs. Sun is setting, the breeze is cooling. The place is still bright. I stand up and feel the breeze for awhile. I try stretching though the stomach is not empty. The dog who has moved in to the empty house next door barks at me.
I go back through the day. I look around. See the flowers that have appeared after the rain. And the grass growing through the cracks in the concrete and wondering if I should put some flower seeds there.
I try not to worry about when I will feel the energy again, and not feel exhausted or tired.
And I think about writing this, instead of not doing anything.
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