The joy of meeting up and talking...

Meeting up
Sun was hot, and the man and I laughed as we kept talking near the gate .. "but is a lang time we aint meet up to talk.... you know.. just come around.. " because even though we are in contact electronically and could be in contact.. the best conversations happen when you facing each other.

I like my solitude. I turn down invitations to most social engagements. I tend to meet people one on one if possible, and not in groups.   I tend to go to places on my own and could be part of an audience. Work meetings are different of course. I very rarely invite people to meet up, I leave it up to others to decide if they want to meet me face to face.

This is when things are going good with me. It dawned on me recently as I dealt with some additional challenges, that even with telephone and electronic communication, I really wanted to see some of the people I was talking to face to face. That hearing a laugh on the phone, or seeing an 'lol' in a chat window was good, but not as good as watching a head thrown back, or face relaxed and mouth opened in a laugh. Especially when it seems there is not enough laughing going on.


"..ludicrous.."
A man I love had taken to calling me on the phone to talk - usually late at night. We are not friends so I kept trying to understand the reasons why so as to make sure that he could benefit and save on the phone bill. I got a sense that sometimes I was not saying the right things because the verbal cues kept changing. After awhile, it was difficult for me to listen on the phone, to do the small talk, and I felt I was doing more harm than good. I asked him to let us meet up face to face, have one conversation and that I hope would be it. '..ludicrous.. ' was the last reply I had .  I had hoped that in face to face, I could listen better, and talk and laugh and get to the bottom of what the calls were about. He stopped calling.

Some people might prefer the communication which is not face to face as they reach out to others. There is a kind of protective masking which removes inhibition in talking.

Business relationships..
When I was trying to get my head around this blog, I searched for 'face to face communication' . It was interesting, that most popular results seemed to be about face to face communication and working relationships, about workplace productivity and collaboration and so.
 I like Skype and other electronic means for work related communications.
There didn't seem to be much information about face to face interactions in personal relationships.  I thought doing 'real' hugs is different from just saying hugs.

Talking about what..
The day was crappy and I started to type an email to a friend. As I read it, I realised that it was all about the issues I was dealing with, and nothing about the common interests we shared.  I did not send the email, but pasted the ranting in a journal entry.  I realise that I have to cautious when meeting people and not end up being an black hole of despair . And I also have to understand that some people would be happy to meet up and talk, even if others think it is 'ludicrous'.