Sweating and breathing to manage the depression on a humid rainy day
It is raining, but not so cool and humid. I am trying to avoid quarrels. The quarrel a week ago with a loved one who asked me to call is on my mind as I deal at the shunning which comes soon after the attempt to reach out.
The sun isn't out, body is stiff. Surya namaskar requires a back which could bend forward. I start doing it though and then realise that sweat is coming out of my forearms, not normal for me.
The body moves, stumbles clumsily as the balance is lost. I am celebrating a couple of things like some of the work done by students who had told me they could not do it.
Rainy morning and I am feeling nice in the market without the umbrella. There is some metaphor perhaps that instead of shielding myself from the dark clouds, that I just walk under them, through them, with them. Market.. the sheltering in two places. One watching a woman and her daughter chat.. both staring in front. The daughter is gruff, hefty.. no nonsense. She sitting watching out. The other place I shelter.. talking with a young man who has nobody and who has been recovering from an illness and who asks me what I have to be depressed about..
I keep stumbling through, breath is short.. feels like how it used to be when I used to run. I finish the 13 and don't think how I used to 39. Mantras are good, I remember them. I finish and feel good.. though I can't bend down to pick up the old bed sheet I use as the mat.
I get the camera to take the picture of the sweat on the arm so I could get an image for the blog because I have wanted to write about how the Universe has responded .. how the points of light in the darkness in the random conversations and smiles which are blessings.
I get into corpse pose. Breathing and focus. Body relaxes again. and skin dries slowly as body cools and mind calms.
I pray that I can be useful and cause no harm to anyone.
Comments
Post a Comment