Counting blessings while itching and scratching and rubbing..


There is a lull right now as I write this. The skin is tender. There are spots which have been burnt and scratched. My nails are filed down  but still they are too sharp so I have to try using the finger tips to rub the skin rather than scratch. Sometimes the palms turn red and the flesh on the finger swells a bit.

Sleep is disrupted. I wake up to itch. Sometimes I can sleep back.  The antihistamine and fatigue has my mind cloudy.

I used to count my blessings that the itching had stopped. There was a period in 2013/2014. Nothing worked. No antihistamine cream, nothing worked. Except acceptance and itching when you have to and then having to find ways to heal the skin. Those days the body was not too bad so yoga was there.

The itching started  back. I used to say that given the choice of sickness, the itching was the worst thing. I could deal with the mental health issues and the body pains. But the itching is the worst. Unexpected, Different places, outbreaks followed by lulls like if everything is okay. Anticipation of the next outbreak. Being in public places and itching.


So things have not worked out, other things have come to be dealt with which were unexpected and which are difficult to deal with. Itching doesn't make it easier.

So dealing with blessings. The nice passion fruit and mango. The bit of work though the mind is needed to finish the most difficult part. Thinking of the other work, which will probably make the itching worse but thinking that it does not matter because I would like to finish that.

Wishing I could also stretch and so , do the yoga, but not this time around it seems. So the blessings of the lull between the itching outbreaks. Breathing afterwards to calm down and try not to do damage to the skin.
Not bothering about how long this will go on for. Not bothering about what allergens are causing it, or maybe there are other things.

Using the lulls too between the itching to try to do some good , send out good vibes.  And not expecting anything in return.


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