Plantain chips and nuts to live with the moon...

Afternoon sun is hot and nice breeze is blowing. I had offered to go and deliver the book. I try to straighten my back and walk with long strides in the face of the sun and the breeze. 
The morning I had looked at the bucket fulling with water and felt confused.. I couldn't do this but managed to get through
. I heard the raised voices in quarrel which I had hoped never to witness again and I thought I could do this.. I could not listen.. I ignore but it didn't work and I kind of collapsed again.

I go on the floor to do the stretch. There are pictures of the beautiful moon. It is a beautiful moon but I am not sure now if the October moon is slowing down things.

I get a flash to write a crazy thing and then I wonder if I should. A man asks for numbers of therapists for a woman who is depressed and whose doctor gave her meds only after the meds she got from another doctor did not work I kind of stumble out some names.. not sure really .

A man asks to do a short session on self esteem and so with some young people and I laugh as I remember when back in the day I would say yes, and do the session and it would be okay even though the moon would have been full and I would have not been feeling what we were talking about.

I say no, find a way to get another person.

October moon.

Sun is hot. I am glad I came to walk out, get in the noisy bus. Conversation about the book. I notice the water on the concrete with some bright red petals from far away flower trees. They look out of place. I am glad I notice them.

October moon.

I feel the crunchies. A woman had asked me about work and I spoke about holding off on work for as long as I could. She warned me , that I could get accustomed to not working.  I told her I am glad I don't crave alcohol or other narcotics. I have the pack of cheap soon to be expired oreos though. I had also binged on other things.
 It is difficult to explain and I try not to., shift the conversation to her.

October moon.

I feel the crunchies. Walk in the sun a bit to the woman selling chips and snacks. The chips are cut long ways.  The nuts look a bit oily.  I have the crunchies though. I buy both.  She asks me if I want sour and I say no no.
She had other stuff to crunch on - chicken foot, meetai , biscuits, cheezies.


October moon.

The chips are not as nice as the thin round almost transparent ones I had found before. I am eating too much chips. I know. The nuts are too salty. The oil too much. But the crunch is satisfied and I don't feel the crunchies.

The heaviness is made worse by not feeling to exercise.

The room needs tidying and I hold off a bit. I then manage to tidy it.  I register for two things which I might not go to but thinking that I would go to them is better than not going.

Back in the day I would have gone and walked and run on the seawall to counter not moving. Now though, I just get up, move wherever I could without purpose, but move though.

Breeze is nice. Moon is nice.  The moon will have to keep moving. I will move on after it goes away.