Dear sea..

Dear sea..

It has been a long time. I don't come out near you any more because the body has changed and moving near you could create pain rather than relieve pain,  and they have made the barrier higher between you and me.

They say you are the biggest threat to me because you could flow over the barrier and drown us here on the swamp land. 

They also say that drilling deep into your bed and sucking out the oil and gas will bring great benefits to those who might be drowned by you. 

I am more afraid of those who believe in the benefits and who will fight over the pittances , than I am afraid of being drowned and washed away by you.

In any case, if possible after I am dead, my ashes should be consumed by you.

I miss talking to myself when walking, running near to you and breathing in the spray when gasping. It used to be good to talk to myself and try to make promises which seemed possible because the serotonin would flow with you .

I know that one of the things I have no lost is being able to see you regularly, easily.  There are other connections and relationships I have lost, some of them regained and lost again, so this one is just added to a list. I remember how my relationship with you made it easier to deal with the problems with the other relationships.  I know I could say anything near you, and the wind would blow it away if there is a wind.

I like you when you are stormy and when the skies are gray and there is rain and breeze.  It is only you though that I like  in this condition.

I have gotten over missing you, even as I still have some faint hopes of reconnection with others.

I know you are still there though, and once the body wills it, I can go and find you and talk to myself again in your presence.