The yoga of random steamed pumpkin...

I have to buy stuff in the market and my mind is not focused. If you are not present, the sellers slip in the bad stuff. I didn't watch and then one of the five tangerines for $200 is not good, one of the five passion fruit for $200 is not good. I did not feel each one or examine before throwing in the bag.

The pineapple though turned out okay.

Mind is on the back pain.. weight has to be lost as a first step to dealing with the pain. So much loss this year.. and trying to adapt to things.. ability to do things quickly, nothing new learned.. but weight gained as a way of struggling to cope with the loss. 

Trying to imagine how I would cook differently.. as the logistics of cooking differently are not so easy. Everything has to started new, I can't go back to the past.
I see sweet potato and agonise over whether to buy it.. I can't see myself peeling and cooking as that requires focus and energy which I can't seem to find.

I look at the pumpkin.. what would I do with it? There are slices nicely wrapped in the plastic but they don't look so dry and nice.

I decide I will try to roast the pumpkin on the stove top in a covered frying pan. I would try to just put in the pan on low heat and leave it.
The oven roasted pumpkin is nice.. but a waste of the oven to just do a lil bit pumpkin.

I see a man with some cut pieces.. they look dry. Two flies are on the piece I like.  There is no plastic. I agonise over the decision. The man looks at me as though something is wrong with me.. I can't explain how sometimes simple decisions are difficult and that previous experiences of doing things have created more uncertainty.

I buy the pumpkin.  I know buying it means I will cook it. I don't buy anything else which I was supposed to buy.



Time to cook it. I am peeling it and chipping it up. Slowly. Wrist is not as it used to be so cutting and so takes longer.  I put in the pan and cover it down.  It doesn't get dry and roasted as I thought it would, but more like steamed. No seasoning or anything. Just plain. It is nice and sweet.
My mother said to try to leave the heat high and maybe it would dry out the water without 'letting it out'.

I might buy another piece next time I go to the market and try it again.  I am glad that I am thinking of trying it again.