Now is not the time...


Night is fitful, dreams, heat, fan, then cold and back stiffening. Wake up though to stretch and go through the day.  Body though feels tired, like the mind now. One performance to get done and my mind is focused on it.  I try to do the yoga which normally relaxes and energises.

It doesn't work. I have to stop as I can't seem to get into the postures.

Mind is on the performance. I come off the bus and decide to walk, though I feel like I am shuffling. I try to keep body erect at least.

 I realise I am making mistakes during the performance as the past catches up with the present. The time is short and I can go through things.

Come back.. the tea doesn't help either. The black cloud which promises rain but delivers nothing hovers.

I am thinking of all the things to done. I want to quit the other thing which brings in some income. I realise that this exhaustion might be temporary.

I keep moving. Some of the other simple tasks are not happening. I want to feel the complete tiredness which might lead to good sleep but I have a feeling I will be tossing and turning again tonight.

I postpone two things, mind can't focus on them. I am lucky that I can.

I think about writing this.. but everything else has not worked to bring back energy and maybe these words will remind me that now is not the time to make any decisions but just wait, wait ..




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