When the facebook behaviour is bizarre..

"why you delete the comment" the man asked me in a message. I had written and then deleted a comment under the post , something which I have been doing quite often. I have also started to write comments and then remove them, and then hit 'Hide the post' on the post which keeps popping up temptingly with plenty discussion about issues.

There is enough studies around about the madness related to social media.. and the kind of behaviours and attitudes which seem to develop in normally nice human beings.

One day I was scrolling up and down the feed and wasn't sure what I was looking for and then seeing things from a week ago and then I felt like I woke up and wondered what the heck I was doing.

Then I 'unfollowed' a very bright young man whose most recent comments showed a vicious side which I really could not deal with and whose thread I kept stalking to see the comments from a  loved one who no longer talks to me and who is not a facebook friend and whose page I no longer creep but when I see people post and repost status messages I still jump when I see the  name.

The decline is slow.. I realised of course that as I deal with my mental health issues, that my goodish mood could easily change after logging in and seeing things which people post. One morning before even having breakfast I was composing and recomposing a reply to some comment on a man's post .. a man who would not talk to me normally on the road.

I wanted to also unfollow another person.. a nice person who I could talk to and laugh with, but whose posts also show a ranting side which is not visible when we talk and laugh and when I want to message and say.. hey.. come on..


So yeah.. plenty events and so, news and laughs and so on to be shared around. People have asked for information and it has been good to provide. But as I write this and wonder if the price for all this niceness is getting higher . I am not an addict.. I can be offline for periods without checking.. but once I log in.. things change.. and all of a sudden the energy is spent on filtering without filtering and ignoring.. without ignoring.

I am becoming more and more inclined to avoid social interactions and engagements.. mental health issues for some of the reasons which come up when I log in and see some of the interactions which I cannot form words to respond to.

I know I could turn the thing into what I want it to be, rather than having myself turning into something I never imagined I would never be.



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