Women who can't wash the lunch bowl for their mother-in-law's only son

"A gyal nah do wuk.. watch, me son lunch bowl ,, yuh know how i' a smell.. me show how ahm how fuh wash am, couple day she wash am and den same ting. me gah fuh wash am back.."

Squeezed up tight in the front row of the minibus as two of Sita's daughters talk about the girls who come in their son's lives to 'tek dem away'.  The woman is talking loud to her friend. They have known each other for years from when they used to take their sons as babies to the clinic.

Driver in front and lady in passenger seat looking at each other.

The woman conducting the bus looking like she want to talk but she not saying anything. I squeezing my mouth shut tight.

"Me tell ahm fuh fin' a wuk so meh son nah gah fuh pay fuh everything , she tell me she a wuk wid she daady. ... me son seh wan rich gal.. me nah wan rich gal"

"Yuh right.. rich gal nah do wuk, poor gal a do wuk.. "

"A gyal a guh wid am all ova.. he a go cut he hair, she a guh line she eyebrow; he a guh gym, she a guh gym wid am.. "

"Yeah, a suh dem stay, dem waan fuh tek away yuh pickney.. me gah big house and dem a seh dem a guh rent.. "

"Driver nah drive fast and pass me house.. me a come off by dem flower tree"

This was a good point.. I said man driver, nah drive fast.. dis gaff a guh sweet. The whole bus talking now about mother in law and daughter-in-law and it seems how 'chirren' bad.

Drive said 'you can mek dem but yuh cyan mek deh min' '

The driver said.. 'leh dem go lang de way.. dem cyan stay in me house'.. the woman next to him laffing and saying.. yeah dem wan fuh come and tek away everything..
The woman conducting the bus is not looking happy. She looks like she wants to say something for the daughters in law. She says something about 'is nah all stay suh'

I tried to imagine the two women who have had not been able to cook good or wash good enough for the sons of the mothers-in-law, and all of the others for generations. Thinking of all the women and girls burned , killed, beaten in the presence and with permission of mothers-in-law.

I wondered if the refusal to wash the bowl clean is an act of resistance. And going to the gym.

I did not want to get thrown out of the bus though.

I asked "so what you mother in law was like'?

One of the women said.. 38 year me live wid one and me nah had no problem. She was leaving the bus so I could not ask her secret.

The other woman said 'Me nevah had, she been done dead... "


Sita Jayanti was celebrated last week. Sita had three mothers-in-law.. she is always praised as the dutiful wife... they don't talk too much about whether she was the dutiful daughter-in-law though . I wonder if black women have the same problems with daughters-in-law as coolie women.

This coming week there will be the launch of the book Indo-Caribbean Feminist Thought at UG.