Woman at the open gate who was not supposed to be there..

Sun is setting and I am walking and rolling my shoulders trying to relax.  My stomach was queasy. I had walked out of the Indo Caribbean Feminist ThoughtBook launch .



"Come and shake meh hand nah".. the woman I call Aunty asked.

She was standing at the open gate. Dressed to go out, bright colours. I knew her since I knew myself.

We shook hands. And hugged. I saw her earlier in the afternoon. She did not seem to remember.

She put her hands on my beard.. 'Why you don't shave?" ..

I said no man I like to be free..

I was trembling a bit as I said it as I thought of the oppression I had walked out from.

The Vice-Chancellor who was at the podium to make his remarks before the launch of the book had asked people who were sitting in the back rows to move forward. I asked if I could remain as I might have to slip out. He insisted that he would not move unless we moved forward.

"No man, you don't look good with that beard" she said.. as she also pulled down my shirt fixing it as she would have probably done when I was a little boy.

 The VC had insisted for the back seat people to move forward. This not far from where citizens had to deal with the imposition of an arch which had disrupted many lives.
I asked whether he would prefer I leave instead. He said by all means...


I asked my aunt if she was waiting on a taxi. She said she was waiting on a relative. She did not see her son she said.

A woman was sitting behind her. She was looking at me and smiling. She shook her head slightly. She mouthed quietly  - she forgets.

I knew about the forgetfulness. I was glad to see that she was going out anyway.

"Where are you going?" - I thought maybe her church or so.

"I don' t know, we might for a drive , or Pegasus or something"

The gate opened wider as we talked and she looked down the road waiting for the car.


I said, yes it is nice.  She told me "You know I work half day... " and I said that is good.

The woman, who told me she was a caregiver said in a calm voice. No, she is not going out. She does not go to work.

I realised that Aunty had dressed to come down as though she was going out.

There were beautiful flowers in the yard. She used to look after them. I told her the flowers looked beautiful. She said "Thanks"

A man was coming up the road. 'Who is he.. she asked as she closed the gate behind me as I left..

I knew the man, a driver, his wrist was broken.

"God bless both of you " Aunty said as she locked the gate. I said thanks and 'be careful' close the gate..

She used to be an active social woman. Worked hard, Challenged some norms when she left an abusive husband in days when women did not do that. Challenged other norms in other ways. She might not have approved of me walking out, or she might have done.

A few people had asked me to go back into the book launch. People were upset. No one had expected the disruption which would be nothing in a few days.

One woman was vocal.. don't let the VC win.

Maybe tonight was not the night for the book launch.

Maybe it was the night to hug Aunty and chat a bit before she closed the gate and realised that she was not going out. I wished I had a way to perhaps say okay come with me let's go out. But she probably would not remember.

Nothing else matters now.

I am not angry or sorry that I missed the book launch