If I am to keep surviving...

Time flies and three months into the time to 'take a break' things continue to decline and the numbers are showing the danger levels which have been the outcome of all the other things.

If I am to keep surviving...

I have to accept that while life can't be managed by numbers, the numbers are important and help to not make things more difficult than they should be

I have to accept that without a plan, no amount of 'time off' from anything will work and that 'rest' or 'break' is not doing nothing but resting and taking a break should be active

I have to accept that I cannot change everything in my environment and that when the environment does not change, I have to try to move physically to a new space and not feel bad about it

I have to accept that there will be no reconciliation with the married loved one who used to call in the night as though nothing had ever been wrong between us and who does not want to talk about reconciliation but wants to talk sometimes..

I have to accept that I have to stop remembering how I used to do things, and that things I used to do I can no longer do and I have to work out new things to do especially where it comes to exercise and activity

I have to accept that while I am not afraid or worried about deaith, I can't think 'But i could die any time so let me binge and not move' because the indulgence has not helped to make the waiting for death any easier, so maybe time is to to reorganise so that waiting to die could be healthier

I have to accept that there is a difference between the fatigue and weariness that comes from fighting with myself and struggling and which do not refresh or nurture and are not relieved with 'rest', and the tiredness and exhaustion which comes from doing good things and which are eased with 'rest'.



I have to accept that if I am to keep surviving, I have to pay attention to little things, focus on them , take time and do them well,  .

I have to accept that instead of just thinking about all these things I have to accept, I should get on with it...


Comments

  1. UnknownMarch 14, 2017 at 3:56 PM

    The last line is gold, lol, love love this , nice really written , halfway through reading it became 'I' instead of reading from your perspective ..so i love it for fact maybe it show me what I need. To get a work on .. Brilliant keep up this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Vidyaratha KissoonMarch 14, 2017 at 4:20 PM

      Thanks :)

      Delete
    2. UnknownMarch 14, 2017 at 4:46 PM

      so plenty in your head...I like...so plenty in mine too but cant express so nicely..real things to think about

      Delete

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