Dear passion fruit, tangerine and banana..

Dear passion fruit, tangerine and banana

I know I shouldn't have put you on the stove , but it was to catch some light so I could take a picture to write the blog as a way of trying to sort myself out.

I am glad I could have bought you, The passion fruit and banana are supposed to be good for me and for helping to organise my thoughts.

I know things are not getting better and that I have to learn to adjust in healthy ways and that 'better' will be about managing things.

As I write this, I think of the loved one who contacted me again and who then disconnected.. it isn't what I wanted like how I am dealing with many things which I did not plan for.

I am glad though, that people got information they wanted who asked me for it.

I am glad that after buying you, I was able to walk a bit in the hot sun because sun is good and walking is good.

I know I should have bought the other things but my mind could not sort out what to buy, what to cook.. those questions felt overwhelming and I was glad to walk out of the market knowing I could come back.

I found myself crying again over nothing .. well over something which is nothing and then feeling foolish afterwards. I am glad that in the middle of everything I was able to learn something new.

Dear passion fruit, tangerine and banana.. the other things which used to help, I had to stop. I don't know if I will have to stop reaching out to you at some point but well until then, I am grateful for whatever relief you bring.