Partial cleaning and restoring someone else's work..

Mind whirls around the prison made more real by the need to close windows tight because cold breeze is blamed for the illness which could be from something else but acceptance of not struggling to see if there are alternatives.

The calendar shows the end of a month and the looming work and trying to think of ways to radically change the way of the work but mental energy is needed to learn new things. Managed to learn some new things and grateful the mind is there.

Environment is so key and the physical clutter could make things worse.  Not my clutter the old wood which rotted and the leaves from trees which mould and stain the tiled mosaic which is nice when it is clean and shiny.

So removing the old wood, and throwing caustic soda to deal with the tiles and hoping that there will be no conflict, no questions asked of what I am doing and why I am clearing up.

The wood though is taken to the back to be removed later because another set of energy is needed in anticipation of any quarrels or upsets.

More work is needed to be done, but I keep staring at the difference and


I am glad that I have managed to reply to all requests though the small requests are easier to handle more than the bigger things.  I manage to dissuade those who tell me 'call any time' because I know that doesn't work out as more anger and frustration builds up when I do call any time and there are no responses. I am grateful for the woman who checks in.. though she has a lot of prescriptions and so and I try to ignore those.

Woman says she hopes the year started off good and I want to say that I end January feeling worse than the beginning and that I have to struggle to reverse that decline. 


Wondering about repair, restoration, rehabilitation.. the 're' which means back..
I can't go back I know..  it is only about moving forward and working on new ways of adjusting and communicating and not plan too much or too far ahead and try to get through each moment.