Detachment in 2017....

Three days in the year and mental health is succumbing to the inability to detach as survival.

The floods are there and the real dark clouds would have been enjoyable if it was possible to take a chance and lose myself and try to heal and recover in the days I had assigned as healing days .. would be good to lie in bed with the 600 page book but I can't concentrate on the book

The Universe though dictates otherwise and memories come back of another January with floods.. of the retching and the begging to go to the doctor and the stubborn refusals until it was too late.

Detachment though is needed and this is the second or third attempt to write down.. sanitised maybe, but writing down helps to detach from the nitty gritty small things which are adding up.


Gluttony used to be a coping mechanism, but the body gave up on that. Exercise is a good coping mechanism but that no longer works as the body and mind are out of sync. It used to be easy to run so as to recover quickly from the other problems.

Third day of the year.  The year is not really anything .. just a random collection of days and cycles and so on so it could have been the 365th day since I was feverishly working on a work assignment.

Detachment is needed from going back to the past. Detachment is needed to thinking of the fear of not being able to cope with the retching , and the anticipation of the retching in between the retching. Detachment from hoping that the night hours can fly quickly so that there is no emergency and that hte flood waters can go down in case there is a decision to go to the doctor and detachment from hoping that it would not be too late.

Detachment is need to focus on the here and now and breath and nothing else.

Detachment from those things help with writing this. One moment by moment by moment..

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