Yoga of dead hibiscus and dead days...

Wake up feeling positive that I will end the day with a massive task behind me so that I could start to make moves on the massive tasks.

Woman calls. I know she is not responsible for the delay. Apologetic. I will get the response I need.

I can't start any other work. I do some minor tasks. Feeling restless and thinking of going to do something else

Nothing is coming.  Think of the long list of things which I could do but no energy to move to anything else. It is like stuck in one lane without the flexibility to change.. when all energy is consumed in trying to bring focus to completing a job.

Text comes in.. a few minutes. Nothing comes. Day is ending and there is a beautiful sunset and breeze and I remember when I used to have routines and I was in control of my time and I was more flexible and could adapt and do wonderful things.

The hibiscus die after a day in bloom.  A day of shining and showing off and then turning to something useful like compost and keeping a cycle.

I am trying to think at the end of the day of all the other things I could have done.

Mind is heavy though and shifting requires work.  I could have read but no concentration or go and start one of the courses I registered for but no concentration because there is this one thing.

Good mental health requires the ability to flex and adapt to changing circumstances.  Time does not come back.

Dead hibiscuses come back after a long time after fertiliser as new hibiscus.

This dead day is not coming back though.
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turpentine mango madness

Image
Some of the mango was stuck on the stubble around my mouth. I looked at the mirror, a bit of shame because I had just collected an invitation from a well dressed guy and I wonder how I must have looked to him.. look at dis big man .. he cyan eat mango good . Thing is.. wiping off mango from stubble is difficult.. and the casual swipe with a hand which might have some juice is also useless. The turpentine mango is useless when it is green - it tastes awful, like turpentine.  Mother Nature works a miracle because the ripe one though, is sweet, juicy, no strings and no turpentine taste. And the colours on the skins are bright yellow/orange/pink/purple/red shades that are probably meant to draw all species of mango lovers. The trouble with turpentine is that you cannot pick it green or 'turnin' ' to ripen like say how they do it with Spice mangoes.  You have to leave on the tree until there is some point.. when there is no taste of turpentine. So you look at the m
Read more

Re-writing Irfaan Ali's disgraceful statement after accepting his comrade's resignation

Image
  (President Irfaan Ali made a Facebook post in which he accepted the resignation of his comrade Nigel Dharmlall from the Cabinet and the Party. This is an imaginary rewriting of that statement) Fellow Guyanese, as you’re aware, I am in Trinidad and Tobago attending the 45th session of the Heads of Government meeting of CARICOM and the 50th anniversary of CARICOM.  Tonight I want to address you in relation to the allegation that was made multiple allegations of rape and sexual violence which have been made against Minister Nigel Dharamlall.  From the inception, I advised the population that I would allow the system to work.   I would never and the government would never intervene in the system. We’ve allowed an independent investigation; the minister proceeded on leave to ensure that an independent investigation was conducted. I recognise that many survivors of rape and other forms of gender-based violence do not trust the system to work because it has failed many times.  I ad
Read more

My experience with depression - Dr Raquel Thomas-Caesar

Image
(The University of Guyana held Turkeyne & Tain Talks 2 on Monday 12 September, 2016 on Suicide Prevention . Dr Raquel Thomas-Caesar made a presentation based on her experience. This is the text of the presentation) by Raquel Thomas-Caesar I am not an expert on the issue of Suicide and Depression but this is my personal journey dealing with such issues. I have never spoken publicly about this at such a forum and I hope that it serves to help others even if only a small way- Dr Raquel Thomas-Caesar South East London,  June 9, 1995 As I sit under the tree, hidden from all eyes…I wait….to go. I wait to die. Then it hits me…OMG. I really don’t want to die. What have I done? My head is swinging, fuzzy, I can hardly walk. But I barely make it up and up the hill…I see two young black men in the distance…they come towards me, I could only imagine they thought I was on drugs..I beg for help. My Angels.  I wake up in the hospital. This was me- 21 years ago.  In a foreign land, drea
Read more